All About My Mother Part 4

NOTE: This is part 4 of a series about the last few hours of my mom's life. To read the first part, see the posting on 7/12/08 and the second part from 8/9/08, the third is on 9/14/08

January 10, 2008 - afternoon
We called hospice in to give Mom a bath to help her feel more comfortable. They put a clean nightgown and housecoat on her. She seemed more comfortable, more at peace. We continued holding her hands, stroking her arms and hair. Dad came in a couple of times and we gave them time to be alone.

At one point I was sitting alone with her and she started doing exactly what hospice told us she would do when it was close to the end. They told us that she would make a gutteral choking sound, which was just the body beginning to shut down. They said it wasn't painful for her, but would seem so. It really freaked me out and I ran out to tell the family.

We all gathered in the room and watched. After a few minutes it stopped. My cousin Mary Kaye, called to see how things were going. She wanted to speak with Mom. We put the phone by Mom's ear and Mary Kaye told her that she was sitting on her back porch waiting for Mom to stop by to visit when she passed over. Mom mumbled something and Mary Kaye asked us to call when it was over.

It was about 5:45 when the final stage that the hospice people told us would happen. They said the breathing would become more rapid, almost panting. We gave Mom some morphine in her mouth in case she was in pain. The panting began which was very hard to watch. Then she was still. We stood by the bed, holding hands, being together. We waited a a bit longer before calling the funeral home. Two men came in and with the help of Bob (and I think Dad) they took her away.

Strangely we went out to dinner a few hours later. It was weird. We were all feeling pretty numb. It was so good to be with the family. I slept in Bob's room that night. She was gone. My mother was dead. It's hard nine months later to write that.