Between the hours of 2-5am, the world in Burlington is really, really quiet. Hardly a vehicle went by while I have been working this fine evening, or should I say morning.
Good Morning! I am pooped. Almost at the point of going home, but I need to wait for people to come in. I may fall asleep at my desk.
April 28, 2006
Fasting Day 5 or should I say 6?
It's 2:22am and I am still at work. I came in at 8am or 8:30. Can't really remember at this point.
Client Flintstone. What else can I say?
Oh, about the fast - I haven't been drinking the concoction at all today. I am not hungry either. Besides water, I have had three large mugs of tea. We bought pizza for the people staying late tonight and though it smelled heavenly and looked divine, I didn't have any and wasn't that tempted. This is a really interesting experience for me. Those of you who eat normally and can monitor yourselves without thinking about it, just don't understand. I am a woman who obsesses over food. Being bored or stressed are the main triggers. I am bored and stressed. If I have to look at another Flintsone colored page and content, I may go postal. But it won't be because I am hungry. ;-)
Back to work. Too much to do. Rep N is out of her freakin' ass mind. Lord help the next company that works with these people.
Client Flintstone. What else can I say?
Oh, about the fast - I haven't been drinking the concoction at all today. I am not hungry either. Besides water, I have had three large mugs of tea. We bought pizza for the people staying late tonight and though it smelled heavenly and looked divine, I didn't have any and wasn't that tempted. This is a really interesting experience for me. Those of you who eat normally and can monitor yourselves without thinking about it, just don't understand. I am a woman who obsesses over food. Being bored or stressed are the main triggers. I am bored and stressed. If I have to look at another Flintsone colored page and content, I may go postal. But it won't be because I am hungry. ;-)
Back to work. Too much to do. Rep N is out of her freakin' ass mind. Lord help the next company that works with these people.
April 25, 2006
A possible CAT-astrophe
My friend Stacie, who's mom took Smudge and Steve is moving to Colorado and can't take the cats. What to do, what to do? I think I may try shipping them out again. But that costs a pretty penny to do so. Then I have to give Allen back his cats. That's not a problem, but I just don't know if I have any friends in LA who would adopt them. That is sad. They are a great pair of cats. :(
April 24, 2006
Detox or How to Stop the Madness
After a a few long weeks of anger, frustration and exhaustion, I had an epiphony. You might say it was from beyond my realm, as I tend to fixate and wallow in self pity from time to time and my moments of introspection have been mostly about beating myself up lately. Higher power, God, whatever you want to call it - it was a bit of an intervention. Friday, I started to think about the Master Cleanser program I did several years ago at another company. At Company Tuburculosis, there was a guy named Skipper who did this detox with me (something I had learned about from a roomate.) We did it for two weeks. It was great. The first three days, I wanted to gnaw off my arm, I was so hungry. But then, I was on cruise control for the rest of the time. I lost weight, had lots of energy and felt like I was having a fresh start.
So late last week, the thought of doing it again came to me. Why not do it while working on Client Flintstone? Detox from Client Flintstone in their last week with me? It's not going to hurt me. Besides the physical cleansing, it also has a mental and spiritual cleansing to it. Whatever your demons are. One of mine is Client Flintstone. So I bought lemons at Costco and started the detox yesterday. So far, so good, though this morning I did cheat and had a peptobismal and tylenol (nausea and sinus headache not related to the detox, or was it?) S'all good now. I plan on doing this for about a week.
Daily diet:
2 tbl lemon juice
2 tbl maple syrup (pure grade A or B)
1/10 tsp Cayenne pepper
spring water- drinking 5-10 servings of that concoction a day
herbal tea/herbal laxative (important to flush everything out)
That's it. Funny thing too is, I just read about celebs doing this SAME thing in Star magazine. ha ha. Even Brad Pitt does it!
Today is Day 2 and I have to say it's going quite well. Sure, Rep N is avoiding my calls and chooses to communicate with me via email only. Sure, the project feels like it is going to hell. But I am not feeling stomach-hungry. I want to eat, but that's the stress and bad habit talking. I even spied some pretzels in the kitchen a little while ago, and thought about taking just one. The Evil Kdar can be so tricky! Sporty Girl said "NO WAY! Evil Kdar - be gone!" And I left the kitchen without a look back. I don't really like drinking the concoction, but it's not as bad tasting if it's chilled. I am sure I am destroying some of the value of it by chilling it, but the cayenne pepper is nasty!
So late last week, the thought of doing it again came to me. Why not do it while working on Client Flintstone? Detox from Client Flintstone in their last week with me? It's not going to hurt me. Besides the physical cleansing, it also has a mental and spiritual cleansing to it. Whatever your demons are. One of mine is Client Flintstone. So I bought lemons at Costco and started the detox yesterday. So far, so good, though this morning I did cheat and had a peptobismal and tylenol (nausea and sinus headache not related to the detox, or was it?) S'all good now. I plan on doing this for about a week.
Daily diet:
2 tbl lemon juice
2 tbl maple syrup (pure grade A or B)
1/10 tsp Cayenne pepper
spring water- drinking 5-10 servings of that concoction a day
herbal tea/herbal laxative (important to flush everything out)
That's it. Funny thing too is, I just read about celebs doing this SAME thing in Star magazine. ha ha. Even Brad Pitt does it!
Today is Day 2 and I have to say it's going quite well. Sure, Rep N is avoiding my calls and chooses to communicate with me via email only. Sure, the project feels like it is going to hell. But I am not feeling stomach-hungry. I want to eat, but that's the stress and bad habit talking. I even spied some pretzels in the kitchen a little while ago, and thought about taking just one. The Evil Kdar can be so tricky! Sporty Girl said "NO WAY! Evil Kdar - be gone!" And I left the kitchen without a look back. I don't really like drinking the concoction, but it's not as bad tasting if it's chilled. I am sure I am destroying some of the value of it by chilling it, but the cayenne pepper is nasty!
Utterly and completely overwhelmed...
I am taking a moment to blog because I am so overwhelmed right now, I am frozen mentally. So much to do. Sure, I have lists. And lists. And a list or two or three of what is a high priority and what isn't.
Client Flintstone.
I am so behind, I don't know if this will get done this week. I am the biggest bottleneck in the process. I have a couple of people to help me, but they can't help me until I tell them what to do. In order to give them direction, I have to set stuff up. In order to set stuff up, I have to research the issue. And that is the same for almost every task. I can't handle it. I admit that. I admitted that weeks ago. It really sucks to be me this month.
Client Flintstone.
I am so behind, I don't know if this will get done this week. I am the biggest bottleneck in the process. I have a couple of people to help me, but they can't help me until I tell them what to do. In order to give them direction, I have to set stuff up. In order to set stuff up, I have to research the issue. And that is the same for almost every task. I can't handle it. I admit that. I admitted that weeks ago. It really sucks to be me this month.
April 22, 2006
I'm going home now...
...and it's only 1:15am! Back in the morning for more fun. I did get a bunch of stuff done, which was great.
In fact, I am feeling quite chipper!
In fact, I am feeling quite chipper!
April 21, 2006
Calgon... take me away! Vomit/blog
- I am sure most of you won't get the Calgon reference. It was a tag line from a bubble bath product in the 80s. Escape. That's what it's all about.
Client Flintsone will be the death of me. I know I have said this before, just a few posts ago. I hate this project more than I can say. I am sick and tired of me, myself and this @#$%ing project. Did I mention that I hate this project? It's out of control. Some of it is my fault which I totally admit. Some of the blame goes to other persons in Company X, but I feel most of it goes to Rep N. I call her to say we need to review blah 1 and blah 2. She can give me an hour, but is interrupted with calls, people coming in. Or we set up a date to review a tool she wants to use. She's in a meeting and reschedules for a half hour later. Her assistant N2 calls me to say she is delayed and will call me. I don't get a call. I get an email with an appology. That's nice and all but she's too @#$%ing busy to call me back even at the end of the day. She owes me an answer on blah blah 1.346 and blah blah 285. Yet expects, demands, insists that we will be done with her project next Thursday. I ahve given up fighting with her. She had expectations set too high at the beginning of the project and threatens me with how important it is for her to be happy which in turn, will make Mr. Flintstone happy, and the consultant who might give us more business and a large manufacturer of Product V that we deal with. If Mr. Flintstone says how wonderful we are, there is the possibility of Manufacturer F will fall in love with us. I want to yell at her, punch her in the face. (I have anger issues right now and hormones out of balance, so I can't really control what may happen next. I am beginning to understand people who go postal. Really. ) She won't lift a finger to do her own @#$%ing content. Who's @#$%ing idea was it to volunteer ME/US to do her content? That's really a minor problem at this point since Scott did a terrific job migrating the bulk of it. I have had people from all over Company X helping me out, which has been nice. Just not enough help. And Rep N not calling me back doesn't help anything. She's Mr. Flintstone's right hand gal. She wears too many hats. She filters info to me, which sometimes works, but most of the time leaves me with hours of emails to sort and task out. Did I mention how much I hate this project?
Company X needs this done to meet monthly goals. (And it has been so painful, who would WANT it to stay around?) Everybody in my department is overworked and tasked too thin and is feeling stressed. One dude gave notice and is out this week (not having anything to do with this company or my project, just pointing out we are down a person.) Scott is getting married next week, so he's got lots to do and on his mind. I can't blame him. I would too. Thank heaven I can let the martyr in me out in this blog. I have no husband/boyfriend/child/ailing parent/ sick pet or life to push me home. I have a @#$%ing retarded work ethic that makes me feel guilty for leaving when there is so much to do. I only really have me to blame for that. So I will do whatever it takes, no matter how much bitching and moaning it takes to get this project over and done with.
Did I mention how much I hate this project? At this point, I am almost glad I have the g-store tomorrow. I will work before and after that shift at Company X, but at least I will be in a job where I have no worries about leaving at the end of my shift.
Ahhhh. I feel better now. I needed to get that out.
Client Flintsone will be the death of me. I know I have said this before, just a few posts ago. I hate this project more than I can say. I am sick and tired of me, myself and this @#$%ing project. Did I mention that I hate this project? It's out of control. Some of it is my fault which I totally admit. Some of the blame goes to other persons in Company X, but I feel most of it goes to Rep N. I call her to say we need to review blah 1 and blah 2. She can give me an hour, but is interrupted with calls, people coming in. Or we set up a date to review a tool she wants to use. She's in a meeting and reschedules for a half hour later. Her assistant N2 calls me to say she is delayed and will call me. I don't get a call. I get an email with an appology. That's nice and all but she's too @#$%ing busy to call me back even at the end of the day. She owes me an answer on blah blah 1.346 and blah blah 285. Yet expects, demands, insists that we will be done with her project next Thursday. I ahve given up fighting with her. She had expectations set too high at the beginning of the project and threatens me with how important it is for her to be happy which in turn, will make Mr. Flintstone happy, and the consultant who might give us more business and a large manufacturer of Product V that we deal with. If Mr. Flintstone says how wonderful we are, there is the possibility of Manufacturer F will fall in love with us. I want to yell at her, punch her in the face. (I have anger issues right now and hormones out of balance, so I can't really control what may happen next. I am beginning to understand people who go postal. Really. ) She won't lift a finger to do her own @#$%ing content. Who's @#$%ing idea was it to volunteer ME/US to do her content? That's really a minor problem at this point since Scott did a terrific job migrating the bulk of it. I have had people from all over Company X helping me out, which has been nice. Just not enough help. And Rep N not calling me back doesn't help anything. She's Mr. Flintstone's right hand gal. She wears too many hats. She filters info to me, which sometimes works, but most of the time leaves me with hours of emails to sort and task out. Did I mention how much I hate this project?
Company X needs this done to meet monthly goals. (And it has been so painful, who would WANT it to stay around?) Everybody in my department is overworked and tasked too thin and is feeling stressed. One dude gave notice and is out this week (not having anything to do with this company or my project, just pointing out we are down a person.) Scott is getting married next week, so he's got lots to do and on his mind. I can't blame him. I would too. Thank heaven I can let the martyr in me out in this blog. I have no husband/boyfriend/child/ailing parent/ sick pet or life to push me home. I have a @#$%ing retarded work ethic that makes me feel guilty for leaving when there is so much to do. I only really have me to blame for that. So I will do whatever it takes, no matter how much bitching and moaning it takes to get this project over and done with.
Did I mention how much I hate this project? At this point, I am almost glad I have the g-store tomorrow. I will work before and after that shift at Company X, but at least I will be in a job where I have no worries about leaving at the end of my shift.
Ahhhh. I feel better now. I needed to get that out.
More babies - another girl
Congratulations are in order to Wick and his lovely wife Meg - they just had a baby girl on Wednesday night. Her name is Sunny Hollis. Funny thing is they didn't know Baby's gender prior to birth. Dady-to-be had a task for Client Flintstone that I had needed him to do. Baby was due last week. I told Daddy-to-be that Baby wasn't coming out until the task was done. Funny thing is that the task was done Wednesday morning. I told Daddy-to-be Wednesday morning that Baby could now come out. And she did! ha ha ha ha ha
Baby talk is so much more interesting to me right now than Client Flintsone. That subject will have to have an entry of it's own.
Baby talk is so much more interesting to me right now than Client Flintsone. That subject will have to have an entry of it's own.
April 19, 2006
It's a girl!
Even though I have more exciting things to discuss, I thought I should let you all know how thrilling it is to know that Katie and Tom have FINALLY had their baby.
Now my life is complete.
Now my life is complete.
April 14, 2006
One for my baby (that's me) laments with edits
I really have only one thing to say...
It’s quarter to three (well, just after 2),
There’s no one in the place ’cept you and me (well, just me really)
So set ’em’ up joe (valium? vodka? I'd take anything about now)
I got a little story
I think you oughtta know
We’re drinking my friend (if only it weren't a work night!)
To the end of a brief episode (it ain't brief enough)
So make it one for my baby (I guess that's really just for me. Two fisted drinker that I am)
And one more for the road
I know the routine (gotta lock up, turn off the coffee pots)
Put another nickel
in that there machine (that would be gas in the car?)
I’m feeling so bad (ain't that the truth, brother!)
Won’t you make the music easy and sad (I love sad music when I am tired and angry)
I could tell you a lot (but I ain't got the time with this damn Client Flintstone!)
But you gotta to be true to your code (is that like being true to your school?)
So make it one for my baby
And one more for the road
You’d never know it
But buddy I’m a kind of poet (sing it out, Frankie. Sing it out.)
And I’ve got a lot of things I wanna say
And if I’m gloomy, please listen to me (or else I will go postal)
Till it’s all, all talked away
Well, that’s how it goes
And joe I know you’re gettin’ anxious to close (hmm, I thought about staying up to watch the sunrise. After all, it's only in 4 hours)
So thanks for the cheer (We did have pizza for dinner and lots of help from my co-workers)
I hope you didn’t mind
My bending your ear
But this torch that I found
It’s gotta be drowned
Or it soon might explode (I am beginning to have a mental breakdown)
So make it one for my baby
And one more for the road (don't drink and drive, Frank. That'd be an asshole thing to do.)
(Writer(s): johnny mercer/harold arlen)
It’s quarter to three (well, just after 2),
There’s no one in the place ’cept you and me (well, just me really)
So set ’em’ up joe (valium? vodka? I'd take anything about now)
I got a little story
I think you oughtta know
We’re drinking my friend (if only it weren't a work night!)
To the end of a brief episode (it ain't brief enough)
So make it one for my baby (I guess that's really just for me. Two fisted drinker that I am)
And one more for the road
I know the routine (gotta lock up, turn off the coffee pots)
Put another nickel
in that there machine (that would be gas in the car?)
I’m feeling so bad (ain't that the truth, brother!)
Won’t you make the music easy and sad (I love sad music when I am tired and angry)
I could tell you a lot (but I ain't got the time with this damn Client Flintstone!)
But you gotta to be true to your code (is that like being true to your school?)
So make it one for my baby
And one more for the road
You’d never know it
But buddy I’m a kind of poet (sing it out, Frankie. Sing it out.)
And I’ve got a lot of things I wanna say
And if I’m gloomy, please listen to me (or else I will go postal)
Till it’s all, all talked away
Well, that’s how it goes
And joe I know you’re gettin’ anxious to close (hmm, I thought about staying up to watch the sunrise. After all, it's only in 4 hours)
So thanks for the cheer (We did have pizza for dinner and lots of help from my co-workers)
I hope you didn’t mind
My bending your ear
But this torch that I found
It’s gotta be drowned
Or it soon might explode (I am beginning to have a mental breakdown)
So make it one for my baby
And one more for the road (don't drink and drive, Frank. That'd be an asshole thing to do.)
(Writer(s): johnny mercer/harold arlen)
April 06, 2006
Headbanger's Ball
No, not a heavy metal concert. Just the sounds of me cracking my head against a very firm brick or steel wall. Though I am not at the point of throwing myself off of a building over Client Flintstone, I do feel like slamming my head against a hard surface might make me feel better. It's insane. Tuesday night I worked in the office until 1am! Thank heaven for bowling, otherwise I would have been here last night until then as well. Tonight I plan on being here until midnight. There is waaaay toooooo much crap to do if we expect to launch in a week and a half. I really doubt we will get it done, but I will do whatever it takes to make that happen.
I know it's not good to joke about people cutting themselves to feel physical pain over emotional pain, but I feel like I can understand why they do that. Now, don't go nuts-o and call me asking me to not hurt myself. I am just saying that I can understand that. I feel like doing that with this project. It is by far, one of the more painful projects I have worked on here at Company X. Working on LA1's site was painful last year. Working with Client Dutch and Client D last year - also painful. This one is all of those put together. Between N not getting in touch with me when I need her to and all of the sites Client Flintsone has, I am going insane. Though Scott G (the new dude) has been extremely helpful, I can see this many sites with this many issues is really a three person effort.
Remind me next time, to not overly volunteer myself for the next big group.
I know it's not good to joke about people cutting themselves to feel physical pain over emotional pain, but I feel like I can understand why they do that. Now, don't go nuts-o and call me asking me to not hurt myself. I am just saying that I can understand that. I feel like doing that with this project. It is by far, one of the more painful projects I have worked on here at Company X. Working on LA1's site was painful last year. Working with Client Dutch and Client D last year - also painful. This one is all of those put together. Between N not getting in touch with me when I need her to and all of the sites Client Flintsone has, I am going insane. Though Scott G (the new dude) has been extremely helpful, I can see this many sites with this many issues is really a three person effort.
Remind me next time, to not overly volunteer myself for the next big group.
April 04, 2006
Running to stand still...
Yesterday I finally cracked and had a nice, 15 minute emotional breakdown because I am so stressed over Client Flintstone. There is so much @#$%ing crap to do that I sometimes don't even know where to begin or which list to look at. There are lots of people around to help me when I need help. That's not the problem. The problem is me (and the client). Rep N (is that what I called her before? I can't remember) is hard to reach and expects us to do everything for her yet, get her @#$%ing sites up in 10 weeks. I have bitten off more than I can chew, that's for sure. I have been having little anxiety attacks for the last week. Saturday morning I woke up with the Client Flintstone jingle in my head. I feel much like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day. Is the lesson "don't volunteer to do groups" or "you're not who you think you are, so get over yourself?" Can't be sure. No time to sort that out. All I know is tonight it's work-til-you-drop. Boy, I am so excited about that!
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