Mepoopsian Dreams

Wow - Been a long time...

2009-07-09T12:54:00.001-04:00

I really need to start blogging again. I haven't for ages mostly because I don't have internet connection at home.

Now I do, so bring on the blogs.

2008-12-22T21:23:00.001-05:00

My front porch a few days before Christmas.

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2008-12-12T11:03:00.000-05:00

Here is my new car in a nice, fresh pile of snow. It took me about 20 minutes to shovel it out.

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You can't top this, can you?

2008-11-17T08:51:00.004-05:00

Where's the healthiest city in the US according to the CDC? Click on the picture to find out or read below....

That's right, suckas. BURLINGTON, VERMONT!!!

Here's the latest - I have a car!!

2008-11-16T11:12:00.005-05:00

It's been a long time since I have written anything (the last posting on the cat poll is an exception. So here I am. I have been having internet issues at home which have prevented me from writing as well. I paid my bill and the cables are all connected. Not sure why it isn't working. Sigh. Technology sometimes really sucks. So here I am at the laundromat typing away.

Lots has been going on. With just about 4 months under my belt without a car, I finally got one!!! It took me a long time agonizing over what kind. Do I get a used one like I always have? The Taurus was pretty good for me, with 10 years of life. But if a used, what kind? I want something with good gas mileage. But what? Do I get new? As I plan to have the car, whatever it is, for a long time, the resale value doesn't really matter, so new would be good. Plus with new, I can get warranties like there's no tomorrow.

I had been looking at the Toytoa Carolla (used), Toyota Matrix (used) and Kia Spectra (new). I finally decided to go with the new Kia Spectra. Though I am paying more than I wanted to pay a month, I got some good warranties on it and the likelihood of it shutting down on me in the first few years is very slim. The warranties cover 100,000 miles (it started with 12) and includes losing wheels, flats or other tire damage. I also got GAP protection if I am ever in an accident and still making payments. It's a good car. I can hold 4 other adults though I wouldn't suggest that for a long road trip. I kinda wish I had gotten something a little more sporty, but this is fine. It's a big change having a car payment and insurance now. I don't like that. I guess the only plan is to work on paying it off sooner so I don't have a car payment. :-)

It is so nice being able to go where I want to go, when I want to go. The freedom is something I feel privileged to have. I am lucky to be able to afford car payments, especially in this economic time. I am lucky to have the opportunity to choose what kind of car I want. I didn't mind riding the bus and carpooling. For the work week, it was fine. But on the weekend the bus schedule is shortened and having to depend on friends for rides was really depressing. Meeting up with friends wasn't spontaneous like I would have liked. It's all better now. I will send a picture shortly,

Is your cat trying to kill you? Take the quiz

2008-11-14T16:36:00.000-05:00

Bed manic high, carless manic low

2008-09-29T17:58:00.002-04:00

Only three and a half years later and I am finally getting a bedframe. When I move here, my landlords had an old bed I used for about 6 months. I finally ordered a new bed, but the boxspring wouldn't fit up the stairwell, so I have been sleeping with the mattress on the floor ever since. I finally ordered a platform bedframe. I am super excited to get it! It's very similar to the one I had in LA. Soon, I won't be sleeping on the floor. How sweet it will be!!

Carless for three full months in just a day. I have been really manic about car shopping and it came to a head Friday and Saturday. I finally have settled myself down and have concluded that I will get a car after payday in October. I might even get a new car. Part of me is a little hesitant about getting a new car living in the neighborhood I live in, but on the other hand, why not? The car I have my eye on is about the same price as the used cars I have been desiring. I have never had a new car before. We shall see. I still have a couple of weeks before winter arrives. Plenty of time.

Car stuff, sick and hope on the horizon

2008-09-21T14:40:00.005-04:00

So I am still going through this car withdawl thing, two and a half months into it. I know I won't be able to last through winter. But there is hope. I got pre-approved. What that means is the world of car shopping is open to me (at least for the next 90 days). I can use it, or not. That's the beauty of it. I can use the maximum amount or not. I can get a junker or a new car. It makes me feel so much better just having that in my pocket, ready to go.

But I am still excited at times to not have a car. No parking worries. No payments in loans or insurance. No worries about theft. No gas price worries. I really like that. Plus, yesterday my friend Erika took me around on some much needed errands (laundry, groceries, movie, etc) and we had a great time. We go to the same laundromat so it worked out well for her to take me.

I have a cough and cold thing going on which is a bummer. Cough, cough, cough. Clear throat. Sniffle. Rinse, repeat. It's really annoying but over the counter meds don't do crap. Oh well, hopefully it will be over in a week and not two months like the last one.

I have also realized I need to get on the horn about dealing with my depression. It is affecting me mentally and physically. It's just too much of an effort to arrange to see a therapist/doctor without a car. I did find one who has an office within walking distance from my apartment, so maybe I should contact them?

Maybe I should.

All About My Mother Part 4

2008-09-14T18:52:00.003-04:00

NOTE: This is part 4 of a series about the last few hours of my mom's life. To read the first part, see the posting on 7/12/08 and the second part from 8/9/08, the third is on 9/14/08

January 10, 2008 - afternoon
We called hospice in to give Mom a bath to help her feel more comfortable. They put a clean nightgown and housecoat on her. She seemed more comfortable, more at peace. We continued holding her hands, stroking her arms and hair. Dad came in a couple of times and we gave them time to be alone.

At one point I was sitting alone with her and she started doing exactly what hospice told us she would do when it was close to the end. They told us that she would make a gutteral choking sound, which was just the body beginning to shut down. They said it wasn't painful for her, but would seem so. It really freaked me out and I ran out to tell the family.

We all gathered in the room and watched. After a few minutes it stopped. My cousin Mary Kaye, called to see how things were going. She wanted to speak with Mom. We put the phone by Mom's ear and Mary Kaye told her that she was sitting on her back porch waiting for Mom to stop by to visit when she passed over. Mom mumbled something and Mary Kaye asked us to call when it was over.

It was about 5:45 when the final stage that the hospice people told us would happen. They said the breathing would become more rapid, almost panting. We gave Mom some morphine in her mouth in case she was in pain. The panting began which was very hard to watch. Then she was still. We stood by the bed, holding hands, being together. We waited a a bit longer before calling the funeral home. Two men came in and with the help of Bob (and I think Dad) they took her away.

Strangely we went out to dinner a few hours later. It was weird. We were all feeling pretty numb. It was so good to be with the family. I slept in Bob's room that night. She was gone. My mother was dead. It's hard nine months later to write that.

All About My Mother Part 3

2008-09-14T18:27:00.003-04:00

NOTE: This is part 3 of a series about the last few hours of my mom's life. To read the first part, see the posting on 7/12/08 and the second part from 8/9/08

January 9, 2008 - January 10, 2008
I think I slept about 3-4 hours the night of the 9th. It was a restless night and I didn't get much sleep. Bob and Merry both told me they stayed up with Mom. I think it was Merry who told me she and Mom sang a song from the penguin snowglobe Dad had given Mom for Christmas. I know Bob had some good moments speaking with Mom. No idea if Dad went in while I was sleeping. We kept encouraging him to go in, but I think he just couldn't deal. I drifted from her room to the office to the living room to Bob's room. Pretty numb. I found a box of things Mom had intended to give me for Christmas but wasn't well enough to mail out. There were all kinds of things in there that she thought I would like but weren't my style. We never really did see eye to eye on fashion, as I think fondly about that. There were cat pins, hair clips, clippings, gift cards and a few small Christmas decorations. I poked through the box in between the wandering from room to room and the time sitting with her.

January 10, 2008
In the morning with no thought of food or shower, I went in to be with Mom. When I was flying out to California, I had thought of a ton of questions I had wanted to ask her or find answers about. I didn't know what state she would be in, and I was hoping she would answer things. At the same time, I realized that it probably didn't matter. When I was actually there, none of that DID matter. If I didn't get answers to my childhood or how to bake this or fix that, it wasn't important. Just BEING in the moment was the most important thing I could do.

There were a few really funny and wonderful memorable moments -

Mom had lots of medicines from all the health issues over the years. And she never threw any of them away. At one point, I was looking through the rows and rows of meds that I had no clue about. I came across several expired bottles of Vicadin. I told Merry and she said her stepson said they could sell for $3 a pill on the streets. So at one point in the morning, Merry and I were sitting with Mom and told her that. I said "When this is all done, Merry and I are going to sell off your pills at the local high school." Mom, who hadn't spoken in hours said "Pay for your trip." That was so true to my mother's sense of humor. Merry and I had a good laugh with her.

Merry is my half sister. Mom gave her up for adoption when she was born. They reunited when I was in college. Later this afternoon, Merry and I found ourselves together with Mom again. I said,"Mom, there are some things I feel I should get off my chest and confess to you." I mentioned how I intentionally locked my brother out of the house when we were kids and when he would do that to me, I would have to pee so badly I would do it by the side of the house. I confessed that I tried smoking when I was roommates with Stephanie and Steve and tried it for three days. Then I asked both Merry and Mom if they had anything they'd like to confess and if Merry had been a naughty girl too. She confessed a couple of things Then Mom pointed out that she was the naughtiest of all (having had a baby "out of wedlock!"). In writing that moment down it may not seem all that funny, but it had the three of us in stitches, to the point of tears of laughter coming down.

Another sweet moment was when I was telling Mom how we all loved her so much. I started naming everybody who was at the house. I even mentioned Katu and Wiloughby as being (in their minds) the most important. She corrected me saying that they weren't, that Jesus was. She was confident in her faith, which was moving to see.

At this point, we were still giving her pain meds in about an ounce of water and that's it. Judy and Becky came in to talk with her for a bit, while the rest of us waited in the living room. The afternoon had come.

Messy room, messy mind

2008-09-07T18:46:00.003-04:00

This weekend I did go out and have some fun. I went to support Company X at a wiffleball charity tournament. That was a blast. (Photos to follow).

But the rest of the time I have spent being depressed. So many reasons for it ranging from missing my mother to not excercising. A large chunk of it has to do with my freaking messy room. It's a disaster. So clean it! I am too depressed to, lame as it sounds. So it won't fix itself. I think back to when Merry and I cleaned up Mom's room with gusto. Maybe if I clean my place with the mindset that I am cleaning up a dead person's apartment, I would be more inspired to clean. Make no mistake that I am wishing I was dead. Just wishing I could magically clean my room like Samantha on "Bewitched". Wrinkle my nose and - BAM the house is clean. Part of my lack of motivation to clean is with the exception of actual trash, I have no place to dump the stuff I don't want. Other reasons for depression - I am tired of not having a car on the weekend. I really hope the car sharing program that is starting up soon helps alieviate this pain. I want to be able to go out and meet up with friends. I want to be able to jump in my car and go to the movies, shopping or to take a nice drive. I am still glad to not have a car payment, insurance or pay for gas. Really I am.

I am really feeling like crap and might just go to bed. Yes, it's almost 7pm.

Getting down at the baseball game

2008-08-24T17:50:00.002-04:00

Lake Monster baseball game with dancing mascot Champ

Barking dog. 4:00am, Barking dog. 5:00am

2008-08-24T15:44:00.002-04:00

I woke up to hear a really loud dog barking at 4 in the morning. The dog barked for a good 20 minutes. There were times when the bark sounded like the dog was in pain. It finally stopped. In my mind I am thinking that there was a break in or something. But I went back to sleep, after about a half hour. Then it started again. Barking dog almost to the exact minute that he did it before. I listened and waited. It continued, so I went to my window and saw that there was a police car out front. The officer was standing about 12 feet from what looked like a boxer/pit pull black and white dog. The officer gets back in the car and drove off after the dog took off. But then the dog started barking again. I called the police station (don't worry, I didn't call 911.) because I didn't know what to do about the dog. It was barking so much I couldn't sleep. I even told the officer on the phone I was sorry to call about a dog, but didn't know what else to do. The dog was quiet for the rest of the morning and I got a little more sleep.

Today has been such a boring day with the exception of the men's water polo game at the Olympics. I even checked my work email. THAT'S how bored I am. I asked several people to go to the movies, and nobody was available. I might just go by myself.

The end of the week - trivia, bring green, shopping, movies, Olympics

2008-08-16T20:38:00.009-04:00

Thursday was trivia night. My team has grown to about 10 people, mostly work people and Catherine. Kyle brought his friend Shane, who I had met in July. Patrick W. and his wife, also named Catherine, brought co-worker Greg. There were about 4 others there. We placed in the top 5 out of about 30 teams. Afterwards, we went down to the waterfront. The weather was really great. I had two apple martinis and had a nice vodka headache Friday.

Work Friday was pretty busy. It's a little stressful, but I went with a friend to watch our CEO play in a tennis tourney doubles with another co-worker. It was really fun to watch. I think it was my first tennis game in person. The CEO's team won. there were about 8 of us from work who showed up. And they had free pizza and salad for us, as our company was one of the main sponsors (being a charity event).

Today started out really slowly. I watched a movie, did some dishes, watched some Olympics. The my friend Catherine picked me up and we went to see Pineapple Express starring Seth Rogen and James Franco. I can't remember the last time I laughed so much at the movies. Sure it's a pretty typical buddy movie with lots of swearing and drug references (I only mention this for anybody who is sensetive to that), but I think it's the best thing James Franco has ever done. There are those moments when the subject matter is so wrong and not PC, it's funny. Some of the dialogue is just so freaking awesome. I would almost see this again.

After the movie, I left Catherine to go on her merry way and went to the City Market co-op. It's a natural foods store and right next door to the movie theater. I checked out the bus schedule and found I had about 35 minutes to shop before the last bus by my house. I was in much need of groceries as I had run out of all fresh food and was down to my canned goods. I bought some really good looking veggies like Swiss Chard, nectarines, onions, bananas. I had a hankering for burritos so I got the fixings for that too. I walked a few blocks to the bus station and only had about 10 minutes to wait. The bus dropped me off a block and a half from my house, which is really convenient. This is the first time I have done major grocery shopping since I got rid of my car. It was great. It gives me confidence for future grocery shopping events. I know I don't need to ask anybody for a ride.

Friday and today have been good no car days. Convenient bus riding and rides from friends. I also learned about a car sharing program that is coming in September. I hope I can hold out that long so I can at least try the program. As of today, I am telling myself that yes, I CAN go without a car. Complaining like I did last week about friends and getting rides I feel today is silly. Of course, I will probably complain about the car thing soon enough. But for now, I am ready to go to start the fall season without a car.

Olympics - So Michael Phelps has won 7 medals in Beijing. It has been awesome to watch. Tonight he has his last event. Might win #8. For now he is tied with Mark Spitz for most medals in one Olympic and already is the most medaled sportsman in the Olympic history. The diving and track and field have been pretty great to watch too. Tonight they have the women's marathon on. I can't believe the running outfits they wear. They look like tankinis. I have such a great time watching the Olympics. I just can't get enough of it. I think I might go swimming on Monday after work.

I am inspired.

The AMAZING Summer Olympics - 2008

2008-08-11T23:04:00.005-04:00

PHOTO COURTESY
OF GETTY IMAGES (pictured Lezak, center, and Bernard, right)

It's summertime and this year amongst the dreary, rainy weather there is a big spot of sunshine - the 2008 Summer Olympics. If you are banning the Olympics or you just hate sports, that's fine. But for me, the summer Olympics brings me hours and hours of sheer joy.

This year is no exception. My most favorite events are the ones with gymnastics and swimming. But mostly swimming. Though the women's team is amazing, I am partial to the men's team. (I had a crush on Mark Spitz at age 5.) Now lots of people are obsessed with the extremely talented Michael Phelps, who, by the age of 23 has (as of this writing) won 9 medal. That is impressive and he is amazing. But last night's 400-meter relay was the most exciting sporting event I think I have seen in years! You can read all about the events HERE.

But here's my view of the events of last night...

One of the French had bashed the USA relay team, but that did not scare Team USA, no sirrrreeee. When Michael Phelps took off for the first 100 meters, I figured USA had a chance against the favored French. He managed to assist in surpassing the world record for that event. After Phelps came Garrett Weber-Gale then Cullen Jones. Cullen was I would say a whole body length away from the French, who were in first. Then Jason Lezak jumped in. He cinched up the space between Bernard the Frenchman who had dissed Team USA. Then, as I was on the edge of my seat, I watched Lezak catch up. They were neck and neck. It was intense! Lezak touched the wall 9/100 of a second before Bernard. Not only did Team USA beat the French, and set a new world record, but to win by that kind of a margin was AMAZING. When they realized they had won, I saw a few had tears. I have to admit, I did have moist eyes. USA has done extremely well in swimming, it makes me proud. Even my crushee, Aaron Peirsol, just won a gold. Sigh.

So here's to the men and women of these 2008 Olympics. They are talented, courageous and amazing. I think it's a wonderful forum for people of all nations to come together in what is (for the most part, most of the time in my Pollyanna kind of belief) a world-wide event that unites people of all races. Deep down inside, Sporty Girl is watching these events desiring to jump in the pool.

Drug dealers in my neighborhood

2008-08-10T17:50:00.002-04:00

This afternoon I was clearing out a box of junk that was on my porch. There was a car parked in front of my house with three occupants and the engine on. I didn't think much of it since I was focused on my little project. But as the time passed, I wondered why they were parked out front with the engine still on. Then I noticed something.

The passenger in the back seat had a bag on his lap with an herb-like substance. I watched him fill up smaller bags with that substance. I watched him take some of that substance and fill up a cigarette paper with it, roll it and light it up. I watched the passenger by the driver get out of the car with a slightly filled plastic bag in his hand and go across the street and around the backside of the building where my landlords and I suspect the drug dealers live. By this point I was inside my apartment watching from the doorway. About 5-10 minutes later, the guy comes out with his bag a little heavier. He gets in the car and the young woman driver (think, blonde) is talking on her phone. I see the front passenger open the bag and take out a smaller bag with white powder in it. Then they drive away. I did manage to write down a partial license plate.

I would say the whole thing took about 20 minutes. At first I didn't know why they were parked. And when I saw the backseat guy with his "herbs" I thought about calling the cops. But I also had a bit of fear and trepidation. They had probably seen me. If I had called the cops, would there be retaliation? This crossed my mind. I just didn't know what to do. I think tomorrow I am going to call the police department to ask them. I know this is a rough neighborhood for Vermont. And I know from my neighbors that there are several drug dealers on this street. It's times like this that make me want to move. I just don't know.

Car withdrawl and how Sunset Blvd. inspired me

2008-08-10T10:39:00.006-04:00

I am going through car withdrawl. The inconvience of not having a car is affecting my social life. Being dependent on public transportation and the kindness of friends is wearing on me. I am getting progressively aggrevated at one friend in particular who I have given rides to, bought tanks of gas for in the past who never offers to give me a ride though we have many of the same social things happening and the events are not that far away from where I live (but too far to walk to). And when I do ask for a ride, the reaction is one of disdain or that I am bothering him. I am thankful for my carpool buddy and that the bus picks up close to my house. However, I can't just pop into my car to go hang out with a friend, go to the movies, shopping, laundry. That all needs to be planned out now. I could go to a car dealership and get some crappy car to put an end to my pathetic misery, but the stronger person in me says "NO!" I am still trying to hold out for another month or two we shall see.

Last night, I went over to my friend Catherine's house for dinner with a few friends. Megan, from my writing group was there. She asked how things were going and I expressed my lament about not having a car. I told her that I am thinking that part of my lesson in this is that as inconvenient as it is to not have a car and hampers my social life, I should use the time to write. Maybe that's what God is telling me. WRITE, MRS. HAN SOLO. WRITE.

Then I watched Sunset Blvd. Director Billy Wilder wrote this film which came out in 1950, starring William Holden and Gloria Swanson. It's a great film and very well written. In watching it, there is a scene near the beginnigng that was so appropriate to where I am at with the car. William Holden is in fear of losing his car. He asks his agent for money to prevent it from being reposessed.

Joe Gillis: ... If I lose my car it's like having my legs cut off.
Agent: It's the greatest thing that could happen to you. Now you'll have to sit behind a typewriter. Now you'll have to write.

Wow. If that's not a sign...

So though I am writing on this blog, let's say that I am more inspired to get into my writing. It will be a much better use of my time instead of moaning and whining about the lack of car and blaming certain friends for not having the forethought to offer rides.

All About My Mother Part 2

2008-08-09T00:00:00.004-04:00

NOTE: This is part 2 of a series about the last few hours of my mom's life. To read the first part, see the posting on 7/12/08

January 9, 2008:
During her last 27 hours with me, Mom had several really lucid moments. She rarely spoke complete sentences, but would give responses here and there, which I am glad to have had with her. For the most part, she laid down on her side, oxygen tubes in place. There were many times when I was watching her when she seemed to be dreaming something wonderful. She was always a mumbler and massive snorer but in this moment, she would giggle here and there. One of our friends said maybe she's seeing Heaven. We will never know. A few days before I came, she had told my dad and brother that she was ready to go - half way between here and there, she had said. She knew it was time for her to go. I find it fascinating and amazing what people experience before death. At the same time I think Mom was waiting for all of us to be there and for us to tell her she could go. That would come in the next day.

For now, I was spending time just holding her hand, stroking her arm and back. Talking to her without expecting response. Sitting or laying near her just to be there. Every few hours, we would give her pain medication. Bob was in charge of that while I think Dad was having such a hard time with this he stayed out of her room most of that time. Bob would crush up the pill and put it in about an ounce of water. Between him, Aunt Gail and I we would sit Mom up and she willingly took the medication. She would go back to sleep or whatever that place was she was in.

Merry and Dwight arrived in the evening and spent time alone with Mom. I can't really remember what I did when I wasn't in the room with her. Sitting numb in the livingroom or kitchen, talking with Dad, Bob and Aunt Gail. Our friends Dr. Becky and Judy came over to be with Mom and us. They are both therapists, and have known our family for years. It was really great to have them around. Judy and Mom were very good friends and I know it was hard on Judy to say good bye to her friend of 43 years.

Things we do in Vermont at lunch...

2008-08-07T23:50:00.004-04:00

For those of you not on Facebook, here's a glimpse of my exciting life in Vermont. After a delightful lunch at the park with my co-workers Drew and Kyle, we returned to work....

One afternoon in Burlington...

2008-07-30T20:15:00.002-04:00

street performer on church street.

This week in review...

2008-07-27T23:35:00.005-04:00

Monday - After work, Carrie and I went to see Elton John at the Champlain Valley Expo Center. Carrie waited 2 hours in line for tickets a few months ago. Though our tickets weren't together, we both had a great time. I even got busted (a little) for capturing some of the concert on my mobile phone. ha ha ha (Pictures coming soon)

Monday - Friday - Carpooling is going great. I get to work right around 8am and leave around 5. Two times this week I was delayed at the end of the day and Dora kindly waited. The buses around here don't run past 6:30, so I really can't leave much later that that. I could walk home if I miss my ride or the bus, but I really have no reason to work late either. Though when the weather is hot, it's nice to work in an air-conditioned office. Work is going well, though a little stressful. All of my clients want to launch their websites at the same time - the end of the month. I have to really work hard at focusing on working "smarter not harder", as we say all the time at work.

Thursday - Every so often, I go to trivia night at one of the local bars. It's been really fun. There's a group of us that with our combined powers (and a little extra help - thanks Doug) we have been doing okay. I have a friend who's team tries to beat us, but we have whipped them for the last three weeks. This past week, we won the first round of questions!! I was super excited.

The weekend - Jen toted me around this weekend so I could test drive some cars and do some much needed errands like getting a rice cooker. My rice cooker of 6 years died. I had a great time test driving and feel it will really help me make a good decision when I do want to get a car. The weather was really nice which was great considering it has been really rainy and icky for the last two weeks. A little bit of sunshine lifts my spirits so much.

I am looking forward to this week because of more trivia and two softball games with some of my favorite work people.

Test driving 7/26/08

2008-07-27T01:52:00.001-04:00

Test drove this 2008 Toyota Carolla. I really liked the way it drove. I drove a Toyota Camry, Ford Focus and VW Bug earlier in the day. Out of those four, I liked the way the Camry drove the best. I also drove a Matrix (picture coming) which was also really great.

All About My Mother Part 1

2008-07-12T21:24:00.005-04:00

January 8, 2008 I got a call from my brother that said that mom wasn't doing well. She had gotten an infection the week before and was refusing to go to dialysis or to the doctor. The last time she had been at dialysis the center told my dad that it was time to make funeral arrangements. Long story short, they didn't know how long she would have and I needed to get out there. She had also stopped eating and was resistant to even liquids.

January 9, 2008 I was on a plane to California to say good bye to my mother. When I arrived at the house in the early afternoon, I went in to see her. She was looking so frail, pale and laying down. There was an oxygen tube in her nose. It was unsettling to say the least to see her like that. My Aunt Gail was already there and my sister Merry and husband Dwight were on their way from Northern California. Though now it has become a little blurry, the second day to the last day of my mother's life I spent time with my sister, brother, aunt and father crying and being numb.

A woman from the Hospice Center came to talk to us about what to expect in the last hours and to give us support. She talked about the physical changes that happen when a person is close to death - rapid breathing, like panting and gutteral sounds. She told us that our family was one of the most touching and sad family situations she had ever seen. We asked her why and she said it was because we were all calm and seemingly at peace. There was no fighting, yelling or anger of any kind. I don't know if that's because we were all so numb, but I think it mostly had to do with our believe in God and and the afterlife.

Mom was dying. There was nothing we could do about it. What was the point of fighting, arguing or any of that crap. It was important to spend whatever time I could with her and the rest of my family. The next 27 hours were amazing, sad, and nothing I had ever experienced before.

Bus and carpooling

2008-07-12T20:51:00.004-04:00

So a few weeks ago, one of the ladies at work hooked me up with a carpooling buddy. Dora, is a new hire in our Support department and lives close enough to me so she has to pass my way onto work. We have been carpooling to and from work for the last two weeks. It is going really well. I would say the only drawback (if you can even call this one) is that I have to leave at 5pm if I want a ride home. All that means is that I have to work harder at being done with work at 5. If I had a car, I would probably stay later than I should. I am being green, which is nice. I am hoping I can do this at least through July, if not the whole summer.

I have also been taking the bus. Today, I walked about 15 minutes to the bus stop, and took a bus to the U-mall (largest mall in Vermont. Smaller than the Glendale Galleria, about the size of the Media Center mall in Burbank). After about 10 minutes, I took another bus to Williston, which is about a 20 minute bus ride. I walked around for a little bit and ended up seeing Journey to the Center of the Earth. After that, I walked around a bit more and then popped back onto the bus for the journey home. It ended up being a whole day event. I had a good time and the bus ran often enough so I didn't feel like I was wasting my time.

Between carpooling, walking and bussing, it's a little inconvenient, but not too bad. So far it's working well.

4th of July concert

2008-07-04T20:22:00.002-04:00

Happy 4th of July! I am listening to the Vermont Symphony at Shelburne Farms on this lovely summer evening. The venue is really great, and we are so much closer to the Vermont Symphony Orchestra than I think I would ever be if I was at the Hollywood Bowl.

That's pretty cool.

(PS - It was a great concert with low bug appearance. They played medleys from Oklahoma and Guys and Dolls. They played one of my favorite Hungarian Dances and the 1812 Overture, among others. )

2008-06-29T20:13:00.002-04:00

I test drove this Kia on Saturday. It is a little smaller than the Taurus and a nice quiet ride.

Good bye, my Taurus, my friend

2008-06-29T19:35:00.005-04:00

This past week I said good-bye to my long time friend and companion, my 1996 Ford Taurus. I had it for 10 years. This past week I had some engine trouble that sounded alot like transmission trouble. I brought it into the mechanic to get an assessment. He said that with 162,000 miles, even HE wouldn't fix it. It would cost me between $2-3k to fix. Not worth it. For that price, I could put a deposit on a new or newer car. So, my friend Carrie helped me clean it out and take the title over to Good News Garage, a company that will take any car living or dead and fix it or sell it to give the money or refurbished cars to needy people. It's a tax write-off, which is great.

Here's a little bit about my car...

I got it when I was working at Disney Online
It held 7 people for a brief ride once
It was a nice purpley gray
It held alot of stuff
I drove it across the country - over 3,000 miles
I only took it to the car wash 2 times since I moved to VT
It liked to unlock its doors for no particular reason

It was a good car. Did well for me. My plan now is to walk and take the bus as much as possible. It's a little inconvenient to not have a car, but it isn't the end of the world. I want to see if I can last all summer without a car. Walking will be not only better environmentally, but give me some good old fashioned excercise. I took the bus three times last week and will buy a bus pass this week. I am looking forward to riding the bus. It will also help me leave work at a reasonable time.

Good bye, my Taurus. You were a great car. Thanks for all the good times.

The new building (or not so new)

2008-06-24T23:39:00.003-04:00

In the fall, Company X moved into a new building, not too far away from our previous location. When we moved in, there was still a few months of construction left in our lives. Picture an open area like Costco but with office walls (not cubicles). Imagine, if you will, the constant hammering, drilling, sawing, beeping, pounding of tools and machinery for three months. Then imagine being able to hear the person 3 feet away, not the person 10 feet away, but conversations 30 feet away. Imagine when you are on the phone with a client and they yell at their counterpart for being so loud but it's your construction that's loud. Imagine how the client can't hear you over the aforementioned sounds. Imagine that for months. And the dust, though the air is filtered better than most homes and probably hospitals. But I think the best day of all of that was when they were installing the flooring in the executive area. Bamboo floors - BAM! (pause) BAM, BAM, BAM (pause) for about 5 hours.

After all of that imagining, imagine with me one more time... a cool looking open area where there are no cubicles. There is a cafe and a gym. Not many companies have that. I suppose it was worth the pain. My ears have adjusted to the sounds of my co-workers 30 feet away and there is no longer construction. It is brightly colored. Though we can't hang any pictures, we do have plants and $350 bean bags (about 10 of them). I have worked in much worse places.

More about work...

2008-06-24T23:22:00.004-04:00

Boy, oh boy! Company X has been a busy little place in the last 6 months.

We have a gym and cafe (yes, I mentioned this before, but it's pretty impressive if you think about it)

Several people got promotions which really surprised me, some deserved it, several didn't

Several new hires in my department which means work should get easier

Two guys just had babies this week (not together, and it was their wives actually who did the birthing) and two more are due this year (that we know of so far)

Three couples got engaged, one more married

Company X landed some big deals

I had my review and am still employed

I am still in the same place, doing the same thing like I did last year. Like I did the year before that and the year before that. Not exciting at all. No babies, no promotions, no big clients (or deals). In fact, today (as I think I am a little PMS-y) I am in a really bad mood when it comes to things work related. I am really happy about most of the aforementioned things. But I have issues. I am not really liking me a whole lot right now, especially where work is concerned. I wonder if this place is the place for me. CA is waaaay too expensive (and damn hot). But is B-town the right place? With the economy sucking as much as it does, I am really glad to have a job. I do like my job and the people I work with, most of the time. I think that I will forever be tainted because of the problems I had two years ago and last year with the big clients I worked on. I don't know how I can get people (and myself really) to look past that crap and see that I am a capable and intelligent person who can be more than what my job says. Will I ever have a chance to evolve in my job? I believe Company X prefers the pro-active approach to everything. If you want to do something or get something done here, do it. Then sit back and see where the chips fall. They might fall in a good place, who knows? I have seen several people create their own jobs at this company. Maybe that's what I need to do.

Next time, "All About My Mother" and the May trip to California.

Highlights since Europe...

2008-05-18T14:12:00.002-04:00

So here are highlights of what's been happening since my trip last summer. I really hope I can blog more.

Late summer 2007:

I got written up at work for several things including a bad attitude (which was absolutely true.) That (and weight) has caused my blood pressure to go up and I am now on meds. My attitude has improved as well as the other issues. More on recent job things later.
In Europe I tore my miniscus (the things that hold the knee in place) from being unfit and walking alot on cobblestone. I went to physical therapy which helped tremendously.
We had a long, very snowy winter. Though I still really hate icey days, I still love the snow.
Game nights with friends
Lots of work
Company X moved into a new building (pictures and more details coming soon) which was across the street from our old location.
Thanksgiving and Christmas in Vermont - I was really busy with projects and couldn't make it out to California or anywhere else for the holidays. It was a big bummer because of what was to come in January
January 2008 - my mom passed away. I thankfully was able to be there to say good-bye. More on that too.
Febuary 2008 - Oscar party at the Shearaton hotel. I had about a dozen people show up and I had a great time
March - April - Work, work, work. I did go to Maine with Stephanie for a baby shower for her friend Amanda.
May (so far) - I got tickets to go to see Dave Matthews Band in CT in June, only I can't find anybody to go with me. I posted them on craig's list so I could offload them and not lose money. I am going in the summer to see Elton John, the biggest music act to play in Vermont EVER. Carrie waited 2 hours in line to get tickets. I am going back to California to not only see my family, but the new Indiana Jones movie.

So much for Europe...

2008-05-18T14:09:00.002-04:00

I am giving up on posting the rest of my trip to Europe. In the 10 months since the trip (that's right, 10!) I have hardly blogged. There has been lots that has gone on since then. I expect I will eventually post some of the pictures or go to shutterfly or some place like that to post them for everybody to see.

Eastern Europe 2007 - Berlin - Hitler and Soviets

2008-02-05T08:03:00.000-05:00

More sights from Berlin -

This is on the block where Hitler's bunker stood.
Now it is mostly rubble and a few brick walls.

This is Checkpoint Charlie, the main security line between the American side and Soviet side of Berlin during the Soviet occupation. The guide told us that this isn't the original spot, which is really a few meters away. There is a resistance museum right by there where we learned about the Soviet occupation and some of the ways people tried or did escape.

Just a sliver of East Berlin bland architecture.

The massive reconstruction needs money and buildings get sponsorships like this one.

Eastern Europe 2007 - Berlin - museums and hospitals

2008-02-03T22:07:00.000-05:00

We spent a large part of one of our Berlin days doing museum touring. Here's Dad in front of one of the great cathedrals in the main part of the city.
The Pergamon Museum... wow. A tremendous display of ancient Greek and Byzantine art and architecture. The Pergamon was a temple in ancient Greece. Read more about it here. The museum houses many pieces from the alter.

Replica of the alter ^

Goddess killing Mother Nature's son with
Mother Nature pleading on lower right. ^

Hunky Apollo ^

Bunch of gods killing their way up the staircase to the alter. ^

Just so the Byzantines don't feel left out...

The museum was really incredible. I would have loved to spend more time in there, but with Dad not feeling up to snuff, we needed to go back to the hotel or take him to the hospital. We did manage to have a nice lunch at the museum cafe. They raviolis were excellent. While we waited for Maggie to go with us to the hospital, I had the fortune of speaking with a French tourist. He didn't speak English but with my really bad French I was able to talk with him about the weather and Eva Longoria's wedding. It was really nice to communicate (albeit poorly) in another language. It made me want to take French when I returned to Burlington.

Dad being stubborn, didn't want to believe he had a problem with his foot, but we finally got him to the hospital. Maggie was a blessing and a help. The wait wasn't very long and they bandadged him up and gave him some pain medications. He was fit enough to continue with us on our excursions, albeit needing to take it a little slower than the kids in the group.

Eastern Europe 2007 - Berlin - sights and dad

2008-01-31T00:32:00.000-05:00

After a really splendid breakfast, the group set out to go explore. However, dad had fallen in the shower and hurt his ankle, so we left him at the hotel to rest. With our guide Maggie at the helm, we bussed and walked and bussed and walked around Berlin to see some major historical sites.

One of the first places we stopped at was the Brandenburg Gate. It had been under revamping but fortunately for us we were able to see it in all of it's splendor. It's a very impressive piece. One of those pieces of architecture you read about in school and so amazing to see in person. Created in the early 1800s, many German rulers and occupiers have used it as a symbol for their reign, especially the Nazis.

The Reisenstaad - Built in the late 1800s, it became a notable icon in the rise of the Nazo party in the early 1930s.

It's now a parliment building as well as a very popular tourist attraction. We waited about 45 minutes to gain entrance to the rooftop where there is a glass and mirror dome that rotates with the direction of the sun so that there is always light within. We had another spectacular view of the city from the rooftop here, and I marveled at the reconstruction of the Gothic, Greek and Roman architecture. From what our guide told us, about 80% of Berlin was destroyed in WW2 and it is a city always under construction. The Reisenstaad was an impressive place to visit.

Back on Potsdamer Straße, we spent time on our own exploring shops and other historical sites like Kaiser Wilhelm Memorial church. It was built in the late 1800s and was bombed and burned during World War II. It was left standing as a reminder of the devistation and destruction of war. The building on the left is a memorial. This was practically across the street from the film museum I went to the day before.

I think in order to get through the whole vacation, I will spare the stories for the most part and post pictures. I have lots of pictures. There are deffinately some stories to share, but this far from the trip, do you really care? I don't, though I do want to post pics.

Eastern Europe 2007 - Berlin

2008-01-30T22:04:00.000-05:00

The first part of our journey was in Berlin, Germany. After Maggie took me to the hotel and showed me main bus routes on the map, I decided to have my own little adventure since I had about 6 hours to kill and I wasn't about to spend the entire time in my hotel room. I took a two-deck bus and went to the German Film History museum on Potsdamer Straße, one of the main streets in what I would call downtown tourist Berlin. Next door to the museum was a Dunkin' Donuts cyber cafe.
Next door to the museum was a Dunkin' Donuts cyber cafe. Gross.

I explored the museum with an English language audio tour. It was a pretty small museum, but they had some really good things. There were lots of things about pre-WW2 German film makers like Lubistch, von Stroheim, Murnau. There were sections for post-WW2 directors like Wyler, Wilder and more. One of the most exciting sections for me was the part about Fritz Lang, who directed Metropolis. There was a large section dedicated to Marlene Dietrich, which included costumes and love letters from her various Hollywood romances. It was a great way for me to pass the time. I know I wouldn't have been able to do that with the tour group.

Before heading back to the hotel, I explored the courtyard behind the museum and ate lunch. The courtyard was filled with different kinds of shops and a movie theater. I was excited to see that Harry Potter was opening there though I doubted I would be able to see it.

Then I popped back on the bus and met up with our group at the hotel. It was sure great to see Dad and Bob. I had seen Bob in February, but not Dad since the fall of 2006. We went out to dinner at a classic German restaurant. My friend Michelle's husband had taken the same trip with his school and warned me of bland food. He was right. It was great experiencing another culture, but boy the food at the first restaurant with the group was so bland.We still had a great time and I met so many of the group. Asela was my roomate. Her son was one of Bob's students and she was coming as a chaperone. I also met Lindsay and Mindy who taught with Bob and were on the trip as chaperones too. Lindsay had already been in Germany on another trip. There were about 20 kids and a few other chaperones. The students were all at least 18 years old, which meant the chaparones were really more of a formality and to let the parents who didn't go feel secure in knowing there were mature adults around should anything happen. Plus it made it easier on my brother to have a few extra adults as you will soon learn.

On the way back to the hotel, we passed by this sign (<<). Throughout Berlin, we saw similar condom-with-fruit safe sex signs. I really wish we'd do that in the USA! These were great!

One of the tourist trip things we did the first night was to go to the TV tower also known as the Fernsehturm. The tower was built in the mid-to-late 60s in Soviet occupied East Germany. The tower is hundreds of feet above the plaza and the view is 360 degrees. At the top of the tower, there was a bar and what looked like a private room or two. I am not sure if they do dinner there, but it would be a terrific place to dine. The view from the top was so spectacular. We got there just as the sun was finishing it's day. Our hotel was just a few blocks from it. It was an excellent way to start off our trip.

I am back... really I am.

2008-01-28T12:56:00.000-05:00

It's been MONTHS. I realize that. I am on a straight track to not let this blog stop. I still plan posting pictures from my Europe trip as well as catch you all up on the latest news. There is big and small news. It's been such a long time since I have posted, mainly because my computer at home sucks and work has been busy. However, I have found blogging to be a bit of a release for me and it helps keep me in touch with people.

Check back in a few days. Really. I promise.

On being thankful...

2007-11-25T12:36:00.000-05:00

It's easy this time of year for me to slide into depression. Whether it is actual Seasonal Affective Disorder, missing my friends and family or just your regular case of depression, it's easy for me to dwell on things. With this Thanksgiving, I was reminded of a few things that helps me pull my head of my ass.

Giving Thanks...

I am thankful for a nice, warm place to live and sleep in
I am thankful for my health
I am thankful for friends who take me in and let me share Thanksgiving with their family
I am thankful for employment
I am thankful for being able to buy whatever food I want, whenever I want. The Vermont Food Bank is drastically low this year. Lots of that has to do with government assistance not being what it has been in the past. Food prices are high across the nation, so the government which usually buys overstock isn't. I got my company to do a food drive again this year. However, it seems that there are only a small handful of us donating when the company has 120 employees. I don't get that. I want to yell at the people and say "Can't you bring in ONE can of greenbeans or fruit? Instead of buying that $4 cup of coffee, how about spending it on 8-10 cans of food?
I am thankful I have money to spend on eating out and movies
I am thankful for my family and friends
I am thankful for being able to live in a country where I can say George Bush sucks and not be thrown in jail (well, for now)
I am thankful that I can go to church if I want
I am thankful I can read and write
I am thankful for my computer
I am thankful for my cat, Tabby
I am thankful I can hear and see

Sure, my life isn't what I thought it would be by now, but I have so much to be grateful for, the list above is only a little of what I have to be thankful for. I really need to work on the positive. It's so easy to be negative. There's a woman I hang out with from time to time who has got to be one of the most negative people I have met. She is smart and funny and a few years older than I am. Those are some of main reasons I hang out with her. However, her negativity is getting on my nerves. She has problems with men, her family, her job etc. (Who doesn't?) I don't think I can hang out with her very much anymore. It's too much for me, especially when I am dealing with my own depression. I know some of you reading this blog know who she is, or know people like her. I have suggested she get professional help, but she's not game to do that. I have told her that both of us need to work on being more positive at work, and though she agrees, she has so much anger and frustration it still comes out during work. When I got written up right after my vacation, my anger was one of the only things on the list that I agreed I needed to really work on. I don't hate my job (most of the time). If I did, I would quit. Maybe that's what she needs to do. Sigh. It's frustrating.

How are YOUR gas prices?

2007-11-08T13:11:00.001-05:00

Check out this site to see what gas prices are looking like in your area or anywhere in the USA. It's pretty cool.

If you know a cat...

2007-10-26T17:27:00.000-04:00

This is a really funny clip from YouTube.

Another excuse, New building issues, and Toilet Nightmares...

2007-10-12T13:37:00.001-04:00

Yeah. I still haven't posted any new updates about my trip. That is my goal for the weekend to do a little catch up. That's my plan, and I *hope* I stick to it. Work has been busy and when I get home at night, I don't want to be on a computer. (There. That's my excuse.)

We moved into a new building. Picture Costco or Home Depot but with pods and cubicles. Well, they aren't really cubicles. They are more like space dividers. The acoustics are dreadful. I can hear Scott who sits three feet from me, but not Carrie who sits 15. But I can hear in muffled tones, people 30 + feet away. There is still construction going on and as a result, dust. Ick. My allergies are in flames. But the comfort is I am not alone. One of the sort of neato things here is that since we are a green-friendly building, there is water conservation in the bathrooms. There is an up for smaller deposits and down (flush) for larger ones. However, some people still don't really understand that. I am going to start blogging about TOILET NIGHTMARES. Of course, these toilets aren't the worst I have seen and been near, but there is a basic hygiene that some people don't seem to follow when it comes to the bathroom.

That is what is going on for now. I have a cold and feel like crap. I went home an hour early yesterday (oooh! what a slacker! an hour!) and I might do the same today. My Client Aimless has a couple of sites to launch and they are having a slight meltdown over some minor issue. Sigh. The life of a working stiff.

Happy Birthday Roald Dahl

2007-09-13T13:03:00.000-04:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROALD DAHL!

To find out about Roald Dahl, click on the image above or check out what the wikipedia has to say: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roald_Dahl

Author of James and the Giant Peach, Charlie and The Chocolate Factory and many, many other great books!

Easter Europe 2007 - The beginning

2007-09-03T15:08:00.000-04:00

At the end of last year, my brother asked me if I would like to go with him and some of his students to Eastern Europe - for FREE. How could I turn that down? The only thing I would be responsible for would be lunches and souvenirs. How sweet is that? So... months passed. I turned in my vacation request and before I knew it, it was July and time for me to go!

Preparation and Flight in the USA

I usually overpack, so this time I was pretty good about packing only what was necessary. I managed to pack most of my suitecase before 1am on the morning of my trip. I even caught a few hours of sleep. As I wasn't leaving until the early afternoon, I was able to hitch a ride to WW with Carrie and then she took me to the airport. I arrived at the airport in excellent time, checked in and iTuned out until it was time to board. We flew on a US Air flight to Chicago. I had about three hours to kill, so I freshened up and grabbed some food, found my flight and waited. The next part of the journey was the longest.

Lufthansa - Airline service at it's best!

I switched carriers in Chicago and was on a Lufthansa flight from Chicago to Frankfurt, Germany. When I borded the plane, I hoped my seat didn't have any people next to me, that way I could stretch out and maybe get some sleep. I sat down on the aisle seat in the middle row. A man sat on the far end of my middle row. I was relieved as passengers loaded and nobody sat between us. I even said a prayer asking God that if he was going to put somebody next to me, please be it a small bodied person. Then it happened. Two attendents came over and asked the man to move up so a really large man and his tiny wife could sit in my row. The large man needed a seat and a half so his tiny wife sat next to me. Though she smelled heavily of musky perfume, I thought it was so much better than if it had been body oder. This flight was about 12 hours long, so there were a few dumb movies and lots of good food. The flight attenants brought around snacks and dinner. The dinner was cordon bleu with veggies and rolls. They poured wine and we dined like kings and queens. After they cleared the dinner, they came around again with brandy or Bailey's. Who am I to pass on that?

(<<>

After that, there were moments of intermittent sleep followed by iTunes and reading. I was super tired, but couldn't really go into a pleasant, deep slumber. I got up a couple of times for a bathroom break and stretching my legs.

When we got to Frankfurt, I checked into customs, which took no time at all. I waited about two hours before boarding the next plane (also on Lufthansa) to Berlin.

Clean, chic - Frankfurt airport

One thing that struck me as very interesting was that though there is generally no smoking throughout the airport in Frankfurt and Berlin, there were these smoking sections that people were huddled around. Even in the wee hours of the morning, people were lighting up.

After waiting for a bit in Frankfurt, I boarded a much smaller plane to Berlin. This one had a 2-4-2 combination. I was again in the aisle of one of the 2 seater sections and had a neighbor from Russia who slept during the 1.5 hour flight.

All in all, this was going really well. Sure the flight was super long and I lost a whole day by traveling. But I was about to embark on a great adventure and see things I had only seen in movies, tv and books. Plus I was going to see my brother again, meet new people and see my dad who I hadn't seen since last fall.

When I arrived in Berlin, it took about 15 minutes for me to get my bags. I walked out and was met by Maggie, our tour guide. I recognized her from a photo my brother had sent out to our group. She was a petite brunette with a warm, friendly face and a huge smile. She is Polish and speaks three languages - Polish, German and English. She was so welcoming, I felt right at home.

No more g-store

2007-09-03T15:05:00.000-04:00

Sad, but true. I quit the g-store because my job at Company X is stressful and I need to focus my energies on making it better. I turned in my two weeks' notice at the g-store, which is the only proper thing to do. What did they do? They cut me a week early. I suppose I should be thankful, but I thought it was a little rude of them considering how under staffed they are. Oh well. I will pick it up again if/when things calm down at Company X.

I had a great experience working at the g-store and it has prompted me to write a screenplay. Deffinately worth the time I spent there!

Bad blogger, bad....

2007-08-08T19:28:00.000-04:00

Sadly, I have practically fallen off the face of the blogging. That is in part because I don't have internet connection at home. Also, I have been in client-project hell, then I was also out of the country for a few weeks.

I have also recently had some trouble at work and felt that I needed to restrict my blog to friendly folk. I might lift the restricted access ban, but for now, I feel it is in my best interest to hve it. Of course, I am writing this at work now and probably have some kind of tracker on my computer documenting my every click. It will be better once I get my DSL at home, which I am hoping happens in the next few weeks....

So much to blog about.... work, Europe, movies, reading, life. I promise I will resume writing soon. Thanks for your patronage and keep on checking in!

Simpsons movie premiere in Vermont?

2007-07-26T08:30:00.001-04:00

That's right, folks. Lil' ol' Vermont town of Springfield is the official premiere spot for "The Simpsons Movie." It makes me proud to live in this state.

Smattering of pictures

2007-07-04T19:04:00.001-04:00

Okay. I have been really lame and not posted pictures from CA or several events this year. So here are a few. More to come when I actually have time.

CA - Nightmare Before Christmas in 3D with

Alex, Tiffany, Melissa, (me), Doug and Steve K.

CA - Why I want to be there right now... Pacific Ocean, Ventura.

Fast Forward to March...a party at Stephanie's. Things happen at parties like...

Taking pictures of each other...

Getting down with the Mario Dance Party...

"Hey Let's paint toenails!" becomes...

"Let's draw on people!" which becomes...

It was a blast of fun. It's been months since we have broken out the Mario Dance Party. I am looking forward to more fun this summer. But maybe no more drawing on people. Though it was really funny.

Aimless - oh how the the world turns....

2007-07-04T18:51:00.000-04:00

So after feeling rather shmucky, I ended up baking cookies for DG and gave him a note of thanks and appology. I think it's all better and I won't do that ever again to him. Lesson learned.

Yesterday (Happy July 4th today, by the way) I had a big shocker. In the morning, I spoke with Rep C and we went over some issues. He and I felt that we needed to talk to his boss about Rep J's lack of support. An HOUR later, I get an email saying Rep C was terminated!! OMIGAWD.

What happend?
Does this mean I now have to work all the time with Rep J?
Am I going to be removed from the project?

I soon spoke with Rep C (and Rep J)'s boss, S said that Rep C was let go because he just didn't meet the expectations of this project. (I found that to be a little bit pathetic, but said nothing.) Then I got a call from Rep J. He pretty much said the same thing then started bossing me around and telling me what I need to do to make them happy.

Later that day... Rep C calls me to thank me for the good work I did on his project. He had a different version of what happened. He said that S and Rep J are childhood friends and when Rep C told Rep J he was insane, Rep J lost it. Called S to get Rep C fired. In any event, Rep C is gone and there is a new guy, Mini Rep J. What's with these people getting lackies that have the same name? My first two conversations with Mini Rep J went well, though Rep J was on the second call and was rude, obnoxious and had all kinds of things to say.

What a fun time I am going to have now!

Aimless venting

2007-07-02T18:15:00.000-04:00

Client Aimless is a growing pain in the ass. Rep J (the bad cop) hates email, so he calls me with alarmist issues. Rep C (the good cop) is stuck in the middle with needing to take care of his company's objectives and not being an ass.

We decided at the end of last week that the outstanding issues should be fixed by the end of today (Monday.) There were a few issues that I had tasked out to various parties. When I came in on Sunday, I found a few more. With 14-19 sites to launch using new technology, there is bound to be some issues. I also had a gigantic list of about 320 domains that needed some zones created, but it needed more detail in order to task it out to Domain Guy. Today really sucked. I told Domain Guy that I would have his stuff by 2:30. Here's a long summary of my afternoon and chat with DG.

3 - 4pm - I finalize the list and assign it to DG
4:00 - DG reports there is no way to get it done in an hour. I said if he can't stay later do the main ones and we can see if somebody else can do it. (in the meantime, I chatted his boss to let him know that I sent in a task waaaay late. Boss chats me back that DG will do it anyhow.) He said he would see how far he can get. I tell him to let me know by 5 how he is.
5-5:30 - I am talking with Rep J about his "issues"
5:40-5:45 - Client Aimless (Rep C) tells me that because Rep J found "issues", they won't launch today. [WHAT THE HELL?]
5:46 - I check on DG. His response: it's still f$%&ing going [Can you sense a little irritation?]
5:49 - I told him they weren't launching and he should just go. He feels it's too late.
5:50 - 5:57 - me: I am sorry about this. I know how bad it is to throw things so late in the day.
DG: 320 domains, come on.. i honestly cannot believe you had me stay to do this when they're not even launching today...
5:57 me: I JUST found that out. I didn't think they would suddenly change their minds... I am pissed at them, and you can/are rightfully pissed at me too
5:58 DG: you hit that one right on the head

In 10 more minutes he was finished and logged off. I can only think of two things to do... 1. Appologize with a gift card or something and 2. Never do it again. I KNOW I am not the only person who has done this, granted I am probably the only person who gave him so many domains to do. That's no excuse, and I realize that. I still fee like a shmuck and am really pissed that Rep J put the kabash on the whole damn thing because he overreacted to some "issues" he found with the sites. Totally overreacted.

The darker side of me is also a little annoyed that DG nor his boss said "nope. we ain't doing yer shit because you couldn't give it to us sooner."(which is totally the case.) Yeah, I did crap on him, which wasn't cool. I have had people complain to me about other co-workers doing the same thing and how much it sucks. I don't try to be one of those "crap-on-you" people, which is one reason I work 15 hours a day on big projects like this. Nobody said "No," so I let it ride, becoming "that" person.

I appreciate that he got it done before he left. But I think it will be a long time before he stops being pissed at me.

Client Aimless - beginning to suck the life outta me...

2007-06-28T13:31:00.000-04:00

Client Aimless... They are completely a mini-version of last year's Client Flintstone. I am sure I said this before. They aren't nearly as demanding as Rep N, but they have lots of things going on and spread out the information in pieces.

Getting the information I need in pieces is hurting my ADD brain. Besides that, I am beginning to get vacation on the brain. I have vacation in a week and a day and I just want all the projects out and done. I don't think Client Aimless will ever be done. Besides the 22 sites I am working on now, I will have 30 coming soon.

Idiot teachers

2007-06-20T17:23:00.000-04:00

I have many friends in the teaching profession. But every so often, a school will get one winner of a teacher. A priceless jewel. I don't know if this is real or not, but it is pretty funny.

Would you ever...

2007-06-20T15:56:00.000-04:00

Okay, I have so much to blog about but don't really have time right now. I still want to post pics from LAST FALL when I went to CA. I have oodles to tell about the month of May and June. I went to Austin, I had a surprise bday party. Jasime and Aladdin broke up. So much to say. However, there is something on my mind at the moment. One of those "would you ever..." moments....

If you were in a bathroom (public or at a home not your own) and you saw an early pregnancy test kit in the trash can, would you check it to see the results? Even if you didn't know the woman who left it?

I have to confess, I did check. Before you gross out, I didn't touch the stick with my hand. That's gross. I was at the g-store and there was a kit in the trash (most likely stolen). The stick said NO BABY. Good for them?

Austin report coming soon and g-store finding...

2007-06-08T14:57:00.000-04:00

I was in Austin all last week and will have pictures and stories to report, but don't have time today to do it.

I also wanted to let you readers know that I had a little bet with one of the g-store guys about whether or not he could find my blog. Sure enough, he did. From his perspective I have some of the facts wrong on the happenings there. I would add editorial notes if he lets me know where the errors are. However, this blog is from my point of view so if things are a little misconstrued, do I really need to worry about it? I do try to be cautious when naming people so as to not incriminate them or me (too much.)

They have also cut my hours at the g-store which makes me sad. Less fodder for my stories. Sad. Very sad.

Friday night movies, the weekend and getting sick...

2007-05-30T17:04:00.001-04:00

So, last Friday night was Pirate of the Caribbean with a bunch of people. I really enjoyed the movie. There wasn't nearly enough Johnny Depp in there for me, but I was glad to see what I did of him. There were some really funny parts. There was one moment which harkended back to memories of the ride at Disneyland when the screen went black. I think I was one of the only people in the audience who laughed out loud. I think for a three-parter, it was overall a good trilogy, unlike so many others.

Saturday I started about doing some errands. Everything was going splendidly when I made the decision to go get an oil change at Jiffy Lube. While I was there, I made the mistake of getting my coolant adjusted/flushed. After I paid I got into my car and noticed the coolant light was on. I told the guy and he told me to bring it back around and he would refill it. I did. He did. I then drove around for about 20 more minutes making a couple of errand stops before I noticed the temperature gague was moving beyond HOT (past the red zone). The heater was producing no heat. I turned around and went back to Jiffy Lube. They assessed and couldn't find anything wrong. I called a tow truck and the guy said he thought it was my water pump. Of course, towing the car (thanks AAA) was free. But being that my car trouble fell on a three day weekend, the shop wouldn't be open until Tuesday. I had a nice walk home. The weather was great and it was nice to see people out and about.

Later that night, Amanda called me to come and meet up with her at Auggie's Island Grille. Dan and Amanda's b-friend Scott (ME) was there. We had a great time talking and was later joined briefly by Scott (VT). It was so nice that Amanda thought to call me! I had a nice walk to downtown, which made me appreciate where I lived even more than normal. It's a nice stroll to downtown B-town. I am looking forward to walking to work more. I digress.... Onto the rest of the weekend....

So, being without a car, I had cut short my plans and errands for the weekend. I had planned on working (catching up before vacation and Sunday at the gstore.) With Stephanie having guests in town and Carrie and Heidi living 10-15 miles away, I didn't feel like I could call them to ask for a ride to the g-store. However, new friend Jen, was available. I bought her lunch and she took me to work AND picked me up! After that, we went to a co-worker's house in St. Albans for a little bbq and games. While several people were trashed or rapidly intoxicated, Jen and I didn't drink. It was entertaining watching one of my co-workers putting the moves on Pierre who was also pretty drunk and trying to make the moves on several of us. Then SHE got pissed because she felt he was giving her mixed signals and decided the drinking wasn't working for her. (Why is he flirting with me one second and everybody else the next? Why did he move seats - to across the way? I thought we were flirting and getting along so well.) Jen drove me home and I think I was asleep by 2am.

Monday - I woke up feeling icky. Throat and head were stuffed up and achy. Maybe it was the rain, damp air and smoking from last night. Maybe it was being overworked and finally running out of steam. Either way, I was sick. Great considering I was leaving for Austin in the morning. I didn't do much during the day other than rejecting two Memorial Day parties. I HAD to go to the office. I went in in the late afternoon (nice, slow walk) and worked until about 8:30pm. I didn't get enough done, but I was glad I made the time.

I was up until 12:am trying to get things prepared for my trip. (Austin details coming soon.)

Why I love movies...

2007-05-25T07:53:00.000-04:00

Happy 30th Anniversary, Star Wars! It was movies like this that inspired me to get into film. And guys like this that made me want to date bad boys. I remember when the first Star Wars movie came out I was in 4th grade. I saw it 14-16 times that summer. It was the most amazing movie I had ever seen.

Though there aren't any sub-titles on Greedo's lines, this is how the scene REALLY was before Georgie decided to change Han Solo's personality. I love HS. Sigh. He's so dreamy and violent!

I would also like to throw out some shout outs to my peeps in LA, especially the ones crazy enough to go participate in the Star Wars party this weekend. A little bit of me wishes I was there

Chick things...

2007-05-24T08:07:00.000-04:00

...so if you are uncomfortable reading about chick things, come back another time.

I just really have one thing to say. I would like to take an opportunity to say that cramps suck. I would like to be in bed with a heating pad but I can't because I have work to do. Damn these cramps.

Here's a on-the-spot poem:

CRAMPS

Punching
Sloshing
Beating my body like you drill into cement
BAM!
BAM!

Kicking
Pounding
My body buckles under the pressure
POW!
POW!

Drifting
Gliding
The torture passes I am free
KABOOM!

(I know. It's quite brilliant. You are probably sitting back astounded at the depth and intelligence in that poem.)

Client Aimless = Mini-Client Flintstone

2007-05-23T18:54:00.000-04:00

By now I should just realize that when it is May at Company X, I will undoubtedly get a big ass client that will cause me to go insane. Client Aimless is that. Why? Allow me to list a couple of reasons.

1. They are a huge-ass client that is and will (if we do well with this) give us big business. That means they are paying $ and have the attitude that because they are paying bucko bucks they can get whatever they want.

2. The package (like Client Flintstone) was either sold with promises of things we would do for them that we really can't or aren't client ready or the client blew things out of proportion from what they 'thought' they were getting and now we are rushing to get things done in an unrealistic amount of time.

3. We have new tools that aren't fully functional that not only I am using but the client uses too. I haven't even worked with the tool before. I can't show the client how to use it because I don't know how to use it. Plus there are problems with it and I can't do certain things because either I don't have the right access or because that part of the tool isn't functional yet. I think it makes us look bad when things don't work right and they client and I are scratching our heads trying to figure out how to make it work.

4. I can't handle multi-tasking. Just because I have a touch of ADD and shift subjects doesn't mean I can handle multi-tasking.

5. I have other clients

In any event, here is a client I am working 12 hours a day with and am pulling out my hair to get things done. I can't delegate because nobody else has time either. Several of us have huge projects. I am probably blowing the whole thing out of proportion. This project isn't nearly as bad as Client Flintstone of 2006 was. There is a huge amount of work the client and I have to do to make it work. It will get done. And the client has been pretty reasonable so far. I told them at the beginning of the project that I would disappoint them. I would let them down. I would fail them. We had a good laugh and I think that got us off on a good foot.

Big news - Company X is moving!!

2007-05-16T08:48:00.000-04:00

It has been officially made public that Company X is moving office space. Not just moving, but moving across the street to what will be a swanky, environmentally friendly building. Ranging from soy-based paints to lots of natural lighting and maybe solar or wind power, it will be one of the most eco-friendly buildings in Vermont. In addition to that, we are going to have a cafe with organic food (no soda), a gym, tennis court, showers, ping pong tables and one-on-one basketball court. It's all about health and wellness.

I have already challenged the Big Enchilada to a doubles match. No, I don't play tennis and have already told him that I know he will cream us, but it will be fun. I am also working him on getting a lap pool. He thinks it's a good idea. Now if we can just get him to add that into the budget....

It's great getting speedy service...

2007-05-16T08:43:00.000-04:00

I had a problem yesterday with my latest group Client Aimless and a specific site that wasn't working with our tools. It was near the end of the day and I was getting frustrated. I had already bugged it but I have a really short timeline on getting this project done and wanted immediate fixes. So I went upstairs and found Jai. Jai is one of the heads of our technology team. He's a super busy guy, but he took the time to address and fix my issue. I really appreciated that. I hate throwing last minute things at people especially when I believe that for most people "your emergency is not necessarily my priority" and he could have told me to wait until today to address it. Our tools may not always work well here at Company X, but there are certainly some good people here.

(Also he's a new reader to my blog and I haven't ever written about him. ha ha)

BREAKING NEWS: Aladdin and Jasmine NO MORE

2007-05-14T15:16:00.000-04:00

This just in...

There I was, sitting in the break room of the g-store minding my own business. PL is sitting with JL discussing the latest in g-store news.

PL: You know why Jasmine never showed up to work?
JL: Yeah, because she called me at 2am because she was afraid to come into work.
Me: Afraid? Why?
JL: Because she and Aladdin broke up.
Me: WHAT? No Way!
JL: Yup.
PL: Yeah, she was emailing me that she was looking for something else. Something new. She wants more in the relationship and Aladdin wouldn't let her hang out with her friends and let her go out. He wanted her all to himself.
JL: She called me to say that she was afraid of how Aladdin would be at work since they had just broken up, so she didn't call into work. Just ditched.

Ah, to be in high school again. How sweet it is. Though it is sad that the Aladding and Jasmine saga is probably over, she is a wild one and makes her way around the store so I am sure there will be other stories of Jasmine. I wonder if any of it had to do with me telling Jasmine that I thought her b-friend looked really cool with the eye liner? ha ha ha

I am about to embark on a write a script in a month task and feel that the g-store is the perfect subject.

It's 3am - you can't sleep. BAKE COOKIES!

2007-05-09T16:05:00.000-04:00

I had some caffeine when I went to dinner at Elissa's last night. We had a delightful dinner and chat. I even caught some of the Red Sox game.

Then I went home, watched a little TV and was in bed by 11:30ish.

Then I stayed awake. I got up and wrote for a little bit and tried sleeping again, to no avail. So I decided to do something.

If you can't sleep, bake cookies!

Thank you, IRS

2007-05-08T15:08:00.000-04:00

In 2004, I was a 1099-er and forgot to take money out for my new job with Company X. As a result, I screwed myself with the IRS. It took them a year and a half to catch up with me. After months of going back and forth on how much I owed, I got the final bill. Only $1378!! Yipppee!!

Thanks to my 2006 tax return, I only have to pay the IRS about $800 now. They took the rest.

Thank you IRS!

He's just not into you...

2007-05-04T16:40:00.000-04:00

I was watching an episode of "Sex in the City" where the ladies are out to dinner discussing a recent date Miranda had. The date dropped her off at the doorstep with an excuse of having something to do early the next morning. Miranda's friends gave her words of encouragement, but Carrie's date told her "He's just not into you." Sure it was blunt and it may not be true in every situation, but it was a good tv show moment.

He's just not into you.

Ain't that the truth. Sigh.

Songs that remind me of way back when...

2007-05-03T18:06:00.000-04:00

Recently, I was listening to a song by The Carpenters. If you have no idea who they are, check them out here. Anyhow, the song was "Close To You". It reminded me of a time when I was in high school and I was a girl who was very easily infatuated and sort of "stalked" guys. You know what I am talking about - you find out their class schedule, where they live, what they like to do for fun. Who do they hang out with? How can you be in the area without them really seeing you, but seeing you at the same time?

LGH was my true stalker-lust for my junior and senior years in high school. Though I did stalk-like another, he was in college during those years which didn't afford me much stalking time. Anyhow the song goes on about how the world is entranced with the person that is the center of the singer's affections. Stars, birds, moondust and other chicks stalking the love interest. Nice. That's pretty much what it was about for me too. LGH did have blond hair and blue eyes. My friends knew I had a major crush on him, though I think I denied it many times. I even went as far as to toilet paper his house to show my affection.

Ah, those were the days. Maybe that's what I should do now? All I need is somebody to lust.

Nothing but the negatives

2007-04-27T19:54:00.000-04:00

Glum, tired, whiney, depressed, angry, annoyed, frustrated, apathetic, sad, discontented, gloomy, selfish, bitter, moaning, pathetic, bothered, irritated, irrational, stressed, achy, void, vacant, repressed, unimpressed.

blech. blah. boo. hmpf.

gray, charcoal, brown, black

dark clouds. sleet. snow. blizzard. ice. mud.

war. death. taxes.

$7 lunch? Reasons why I need to change my diet...

2007-04-24T13:53:00.000-04:00

From left to right top row: Minute Maid Cran-Apple-Rasberry juice (25% juice, 60g sugar), lemon bar

From left to right middle row: chocolate-peanut butter thingy, chocolate-maple sugar roundette

From left to right bottom row: Dublin Irish cheddar, Cabot Cheddar, roll

Um... uh... not exactly healthy, eh? Not a single veggie and even the "fruit" is questionable. And for this I paid $7? Holy mother of mercy.

Touch Test... 1, maybe 2?

2007-04-19T12:47:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was really low on the Touch Test meter. I remember touching HB's arm at lunch. There might have been another touch here or there in my department, but that was it. I expect more tonight at the g-store.

So far today, I am at zero with touches.

Aladdin and Jasmine - no more evil eyes?

2007-04-19T09:08:00.000-04:00

When I worked at the g-store Tuesday night, I had a chat with Checkout Supervisor Sally. I asked CSS how things went down with Jasmine. I had heard she had a talkin' to. I will paraphrase the conversation she had with Jasmine.

CSS: About the other night... Do you think you did anything wrong?
Jasmine: No, but MHS shouldn't have sent me home.
CSS: So, you don't think taking a 55 minute break was wrong?
Jasmine: No.
CSS: Would you have done that when I was working?
Jasmine: Of course not.
CSS: So why did you do it when MHS was in charge? She did what she had to do. What do you think the consequence should be for your action?
Jasmine: Uh, I could do carts? [Ed note: "carts" refers to getting shopping carts in the parking lot, which is a normal task required of employees.]
CSS: Are you serious? That is something you should be doing anyhow. I could tell you to do that right now. Even cleaning the bathroom is part of your normal job.

So, CSS told me that I shouldn't have any problems from Jasmine or Aladdin for that matter. I mentioned his "evil glances" and she said to let her know if it was happening again. ha ha ha ha

What not to say when somebody has been ill...

2007-04-18T10:59:00.000-04:00

A co-worker who was out sick a couple of days just had an odd conversation with another co-worker. I thought it was worthy to blog.

Friend: wow, ODDBALL* is such a sweet girl
Friend: i just ran into her in the bathroom and she was like "whoa, are you ok?"
Friend: to which i replied, "yes, i've just been sick, i'm not quite myself yet"
Friend: and she goes "oh. ok. .... did you just throw up?"
Friend: me: "uh, no."
Friend: her: "oh, cause you look like you just threw up."
Friend: me internally: "wow, thanks bitch, that was a great way to tell me i look like shit!" me externally: "nope."
Me: ohmigawd
Me: what the hell?
Me: I need to see this for myself
*ODDBALL - changed to protect her identity

NOTE: Friend looked fine. A little tired, but fine. What kind of person says "...you look like you just threw up?"

Touch Test Day 4 - and the G-Store - more with Aladdin and Jasmine

2007-04-17T12:51:00.000-04:00

Touch Test: Day 4 unveiled itself with 0 in the morning (I left Megan's and went home for a nap.) By the end of the shift at the g-store, there were 3 hugs/back pats (Caity, Jen's b-friend) and several customer-passing bags, reciepts kind of thing. That is hard to guage without a clicker. Maybe I should get a counter to see if that really ups the stakes. I would have to say the touching was less than 10.

As for the g-store drama.... I checked with one of the supervisors about Jasmine's behavior problem from last week. She reported that Jasmine was sternly talked to and written up. This is not good for Jasmine. But hopefully it will teach her to be more timely. I am not looking to get her fired, but I can't take her bad behavior anymore. Talking to her hasn't done any good in the past, but maybe being written up will. As for Aladdin, he's a piece of work. During my shift, I would get the evil glances. When I approached the breakroom, Aladdin and Jasmine were in there. She saw me and said something to Aladding. He whipped his head around to sneer at me. I made a point of avoiding them while I was in there. I didn't need to worry too much, because they left soon after I arrived. When I went to sit down, I was facing the store floor. I glanced around as I began to sit down. I could see Jasmine and Aladdin walking down the stairs and go over to the elevator area to steal a kiss (they do this all the time.) He saw me ( I swear I was just glancing around and not stalking them) and grabbed her hand. Just before they disappeared behind a row, he glanced up to see if I was watching. Of course I was! After his dramatic flare of whisking her away!

I don't know if they are working to night, but it should be interesting....

Touch Test Day 3 - Star Wars party and WW

2007-04-17T12:45:00.001-04:00

Before I mention the Touch Test, here's pretty much my Saturday story.
I went to WW in the morning and weighed in. It wasn't good. So what did I do next?

I went to Megan's house where she was having a Star Wars weekend and ate.
And ate.
And ate.
But before all of the eating of food I didn't need to eat.... When I arrived, they were watching the Clone Wars cartoon series. There was a friend of Megan's and her brothers and nephew and niece. Eventually my friends from Company X showed up, but they weren't very interested in watching the movies. They opted for playing games and puzzles. I continued my eating binge and watched Episodes 3-6. Thankfully Megan is from the same purist school I am as far as Episodes 4-6 go. We watched the originals. Not the enhanced versions. It was nice. I stayed the night, though didn't get much sleep between the house sounds and hard floor. (I am such a princess that way.) I left before breakfast and went to the g-store.

Touch Test: Day 3
The morning slid by with no physical contact from anybody. When I got to Megan's the test was deffinately in full force. Huggers and kids. Touch happens. I hadn't seen Amanda in ages, so there were about 4-6 touch moments from her alone. There were a few others. I think from DK 2 (hello and goodbye). We had a visit from Darth Vader and Boba Fett, and Ember (the niece) needed me to hold her hand 2x. In a rough estimate, I would say there were about 15 touches, with a third of them being hugs.

Jasime and Aladdin - Drama at the g-store

2007-04-13T13:25:00.000-04:00

I arrived at the g-store about 10 minutes to 7pm. When I got into the breakroom, I saw Jasmine and Aladdinon their way there as well. Once they got inside, I took a glance at the clock on the wall and on my phone. It was 6:53. I clocked in and got downstairs at 7pm. I checked the schedule to see when Jasmine was due back. It said 7pm. Now, I don't care if people take a 20 minute break. It always takes a couple of minutes to get to the breakroom and back, especially if you have to buy snacks. Even with Jasmine, who is notoriously late, I have no problems with a 20 minute break. But she's been talked to before. She knew she had to relieve somebody so they could take their break. One of the clerks asked me if she should be paged. I said, "No. She knows when she is suppose to be back. Let's see what she does." After about 15 minutes, I could see her at the end of the store talking to her mother who works in another department. Jasime could see me watching her. I did nothing. I figured Jasmine would eventually come back. And she did. 40 minutes after her break had been over!

While Jasmine was gabbing with Aladdin and her mom, I asked the PM if I could send Jasmine home for being late. The PM fully supported my decision. So, when Jasmine came back, I pulled her aside to talk to her. I said, "Jasmine, I am really bothered by something. You are 40 minutes late from your break. Because of this, I need you to clock out and go home." She looked at me with almost a vacant expression and said,"Oh. Okay." Jasmine promptly turned around and clocked out.

Aladdin finds out and is furious with me. He finds the PM and yells at her to fire me. FIRE ME? ARE YOU KIDDING? Here's a rough interpretation of what happened:
Aladdin: You've got to do something about MHS.
PM: What are you talking about?
Aladdin: You've got to fire her.
PM: Fire her? For what?
Aladding: Because she sent Jasmine home. You have more authority than she does. Fire her.
PM: No. I am not going to fire her.
Aladding: But she can't do that!
PM: Yes she can. Every department runs differently. She came to me about it, and I fully support her decision.
Aladdin: But can't you tell Jasime to just clock back in and work in my department?
PM: No. She doesn't work when she is here, and I can't and won't do that.
(Aladdin storms away, but returns shortly.)
Aladdin: I am going to tell HR on her. She can't do that.
PM: It won't do you any good.
(Aladding huffs off in anger, only to return again.)
Aladdin: I know what MHS's problem is. She's jealous.
PM: Excuse me?
Aladdin: She's jealous because she doesn't have anybody to hug or cuddle during her breaks.

(ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME?)

Touch Test - Day One - Part 2; Day 2 the noon report

2007-04-13T13:17:00.000-04:00

I started to forget about the Touch Test at the g-store. However, I would say I probably had about 10-12 "touch" moments between passing change to customers, taking their discount cards, and a pat on the shoulder or arm here and there. No hugs. Just brief touch moments. Stay tuned for more.

As of this posting, I touched KS 2-3 times on the shoulder or arm. I have to say he's an easy target as he sits right next to me. That's it though. Nothing else

Touch Test - Day 1

2007-04-12T13:16:00.000-04:00

Have you ever noticed how often you touch or are touched by people? The passing of change to a waiter, the fingers touch. Patting a friend on the back. Hugging your mom/dad/friend. I read a study ages ago in a Glamour-esque magazine that conducted a test with a few women around the world. They reported for a week how often they interacted (touched or were touched). The results as far as I remember, was that the Japanese woman was touched the least, whereas the woman from Mexico was touched the most. The Americans were divided by their ethnic backgrounds - the Italian-American got lots of hugs and touches, but the English-American didn't.

So, here's my test. Yesterday I touched people. No return touches. KS = 3x (poking at him 2x, slap 1x). RF = 1x (he doesn't like the hugging thing, so I poked him in the arm.)

I think I will do this for a week to see how often it happens. If you are a co-worker reading this, don't try to upset the test. If you are not normally touchy with me, don't start now. :-) I am just curious to see what happens.

Best Beer Town - in the world. Burlington near top!

2007-04-10T17:24:00.000-04:00

This just in... Burlington, Vermont is deemed one of the best beer towns in the WORLD. Wait until you read the cities it beat out. I can't believe it. OMIGAWD.

I am a hamster...

2007-04-09T11:32:00.000-04:00

...running on a wheel of stupidity and forgetfulness.

Why?

Because I want to help Company X be a better company, but I feel they don't want to listen to my ideas and suggestions. I like to contribute my ideas. But I keep getting shut down. However, it works if customers complain about the same thing I complained about before they finally listen. I am an idiot. I forget that I have been through this time and time and TIME before with Company X, yet I keep offering up my suggestions only to have them dusted under the carpet. Why do I keep doing that? It's not that I am a masochist. I DO want Company X to succeed. I want it to be the best X of it's kind out there.

Sigh. It just gets really frustrating. And that I keep on doing it over and over again is lame.

I am a hamster on a wheel of stupidity and forgetfulness.

Things that go bump in the night...

2007-04-06T12:44:00.000-04:00

I have trouble sleeping. There are several reasons why.

I stay up too late
I sleep on a matress on the floor, which isn't the most comfortable
My cat Sammy, the bulemic, keeps me up or gets me up
Dust
Sounds on the street (snow plows, neighbors, birds)
Health (my weight, nasal passages, allergies etc.)

With that said, I toss and turn throughout the night. I will wake up, turn over, sleep. I will wake up, be thirsty, get a drink (by the bed) and sleep. Cat jumps on me, I wake up, push cat off, sleep. Sometimes I talk in my sleep. But last night, I woke up at 5am hearing a building door slam shut. In my haze, I thought it was my landlord either opening the door or coming in (I am upstairs from them and we have a connecting door.) I opened my eyes and said something like, "I'll be right there. Hold on a second!" I had the full intension of getting out of bed to open the door for them, or whoever it was. But I promptly fell back asleep. Freakin' weird. I heard about people on some medication who sleep drive. That would be me, I know it.

April showers bring what - SNOW, did you say?

2007-04-05T13:31:00.000-04:00

It's April. It's suppose to bring showers of RAIN, not SNOW. What the heck? Being the flatliner or whatever they call those of us from out of state, I thought that maybe we were over the snow.

Nope. Still snowing. This is what I woke up to. Sure, it's mostly slush now, but it is deffinately snowing. Has been almost all day.

Please come soon Mr. Sunshine. I need you. We need you. Stephanie told me that her dad remembers an entire year where it snowed every month. If that happens, I am moving immediately.

How I love Target

2007-04-03T12:09:00.000-04:00

Saturday, I drove about 2 hours to Target in New York. Vermont is the only state besides ALASKA and HAWAII that doesn't have a Target store. What kind of backwards place is this to not have a freakin' TARGET? They have Evil Walmart here, but not a TARGET?

Anyhow, back to my story. I picked up Stephanie and we had a delightful drive down Vermont, across to New York and down a bit just before Saratoga Springs. There was a nice sized mall, where the lovely Target lives. We walked through it to get to the food court. There, before us, was an Arby's (yet ANOTHER company not in Vermont) where I endulged my senses with a Beef 'n' Chedder. It was so delicious. We walked around the mall for a bit before reaching our destination.

Why drive over an hour and a half to a store that has merchandise similar to a Walmart or Kmart? Because it is SIMILAR but NOT the same. Target has much better prices and quality than either of those places. Plus it is a little bit of home for me. I spent about $150, which was about what I expected to spend. I managed to get some necessary things and some treats. I also got a baby present for my friend Sarah's new son, Logan. That was a good score. We had a great drive back. Stephanie and I have very compatible tastes in music and her Ipod was a nice treat.

Oh, how I love Target. Sigh.

A few nice things from last week...

2007-04-03T12:04:00.000-04:00

In seeing how gloomy I get, I thought for the moment, I would remember a few nice things from last week.

My department not only reached our monthy goal, but exceeded it by over $20k!
My clients who I thought would be PO because I billed them though they weren't launched didn't get PO'd.
I saw a few good movies
I went to a Tupperware-like party hosted by one of my G-store peeps, Sofia. It was nice to get out and about. Afterwards, I went to dinner with Jenny and Caity from the G-store. We had a really good time. I am hoping to go out with them again.
My cat, Sammy the Bulemic, only barfed once this week
The sun shone brightly 2x this week
DPW (Double Punch Wednesdays) was good
I had a nice venting session or two with co-workers
I did my dishes
I played Mario games with Stephanie and ate Chinese food

A few random things mixin' it up...

2007-03-26T11:15:00.000-04:00

Aladdin from the g-store has taken to wearing eye liner and really tight pants. His inspirations? Green Day's Billie Joe and Glam Rock. PLEASE!
I have cramps.
This is going to be a long week
Anna Nicole Smith's accidental OD was not accidental. Come on people, she was depressed. Had been taking these meds for weeks, if not months. She KNEW what the damn dosage was. Accidental? My ass!
It's going to be a long week.
Yesterday was a really lovely sunny day and our bowling team won.

You can't take it with you...

2007-03-22T13:44:00.000-04:00

A friend of mine recently had to go to Ireland to help her mom go through her recently departed aunt's house. Here's an excerpt of her letter.

"Mom and I went to Dublin to clean out my aunt's house-- f@#$%* unbelievable!! she never threw ANYTHING away, i found her braids from when she was 13, I found an unopened package mailed from Belfast to the family's house in the country in 1931!!! oh my god! hundreds of wet naps, hundreds of keys, old wigs, you name it. i took some pictures, but it just cannot capture the place, the slime, the dust, the depression. it was kind of like an intense and lengthy bhuddist retreat, in terms of deep insights gained about possessions, quality of life, etc. yikes!!..."

Though she hasn't said what was in the package, this is a good reminder that you can't take it with you. Other people have to clean up your crap. I wrote ages ago about another friend's aunt Gloria and a similar mess. I need to remind myself of these women and the amount of waste they left for others to deal with.

Time for MHS to get to some much needed spring cleaning!

Long day, homeless or crazy guy in the bathroom

2007-03-21T21:16:00.000-04:00

Here are two things not related.

1. I have worked today at Company X for 13 hours. I had sworn I wouldn't ever do that again after Client Flintstone. So I lied. There is so much work to do and my little ADD brain is having a hard time with it. I would ask for help, but don't know exactly what help to ask for. Most of my clients are launching next week and I have to bust a move on getting their sites done. One of them I found out today, needs some big work. That's why I am still in the office. At least tomorrow I have the g-store and will have to leave by 6:30. But I feel I should come in at 7am to get things moving. We will see how wired I am when I get home. Tomorrow morning may not happen as planned.

2. So my co-worker Scott and I walk out towards the bathroom. He opens the door of the men's bathroom because there is a sickening sweet smell in there he wants me to help identify. He opens the door and.... there he is.... a man slumped on the floor of the men's stall. He was sraggly, with a beard. About 40ish (hard to tell) with raggedy clothes and a plastic bag. Scott went over to him and he didn't move. He asked him repeatedly if he needed help. Finally some mumblings. The man moved a little. I got Mark to go help Scott. A couple of minutes later, the man is stumbling in the hallway like a drunk person. He was continuing to mumble and had a huge knot on his head (probably from the fall). He said he was really tired and something about a couple of drinks. I offered a ride (taxi) or to call somebody. He declined. Said he was okay and would manage to get down the stairs. He slipped and fell a few times. Then Mark came back to tell us he called somebody (the police.) As Mark and Scott walked the man downstairs he said something about having an epileptic fit. He didn't smell of alcohol, but was really wobbly. When the ambulance and police came, he said to Mark that they knew him. They said they did and took him away. To where, I don't know. It was high drama. Strange thing though, he had a bicycle with him that he had ridden to our office building. Go figure. Maybe our bathrooms are really nice? A couple of the guys said they had seen him around here before.

Milli Vanilli

2007-03-21T08:23:00.000-04:00

This morning I was listening to the radio on my drive to work. They played the really lame song, "Blame it on the Rain" recorded by the very defunct, Milli Vanilli. That got me thinking to the whole defuncting of Milli Vanilli. Wow. That was something. I remember when the whole big, bad thing went down. I wasn't ever a fan of their music but I was shocked to find out that they were only front men and that lots of people in the recording industry knew about it. It was amazing to me that it was a secret for years.

It was a really dumb song, but the scandal around the band made me think that I needed to blog about it this morning. I still have so much to blog about. I can't believe I went to California four months ago and never blogged about it. Work is really crazy now and when I get home, I veg in front of the tv or read. No blogging. I miss you, blog of mine.

Two unrelated issues - Swimming and VAGINA

2007-03-13T12:58:00.000-04:00

Issue 1: I went to the gym this morning and swam for the first time in MONTHS. It was awesome. Why I am such an idiot who forgets how much I like to swim, I don't know. The only thing I can say is that Evil Kdar got her ass kicked this morning by Sporty Girl.

Issue 2. VAGINA, VAGINA, VAGINA
Story: Girls suspended for reciting from the play, The Vagina Monologues. WHAT? WHAT DID YOU SAY? That's right. They said the word "vagina". OMIGAWD. Call the police! Put those rebels in juvenile hall! They will probably grow up to be prostitutes anyhow. What godless parents those poor, wayward children must have.

Here are my thoughts. The principal said they were told not to say it. I am not into censoring, but if the teacher/principal felt the word was inappropriate, why allow them to read from it at all? And if they were allowed to read from it, as indicated in the article, it's called THE VAGINA MONOLOGUES. It's about what? Oh? You say women and... possibly... VAGINAS? I am glad the author of the play is participating with dialogue between the members of this stupid drama.

40 - the obsession

2007-03-12T13:23:00.000-04:00

I will turn 40 in May. I have never been the kind of girl who is afraid to share my age. You are how old you are. However, with the upcoming monumental marker of 40, I have been obsessing on it.

The kids at the g-store are all young enough to be my kids, whether I would be a teenage ma or not. Out of the 104ish employees at Company X, only 1 is the same age as I am, and 11 are older than I am. I just find that interesting.

Did I mention I was obsessed with turning 40? I think about it every day. I know I can't go back or change anything. It's not the number that bothers me. I think it's filled with various levels of expectations not reached.

40

The weekend is over, trudging through the mire

2007-03-12T07:32:00.000-04:00

Friday night didn't meet my expectations, not that I can tell you what they were exactly. I think there wasn't enough drinking and merriment for me. Mario was okay. Not as rip-roaring fun as he's been in the past. We did manage to paint Kyle's nails which I felt was a great accomplishment. Then Saturday, I spent the whole day nursing a headache from the one small glass of Reisling. No, it couldn't have been the additional shot of absinthe nor the two large glasses of whatever-the-hell Stephanie makes (a cherry bomb?) I know Reisling gives me a headache, yet I drank it. On top of the sleeping, when I did finally get around to moving, I showered and headed to the theater to see if I could get a ticket for "300" where some of my co-workers were. I got there 50 minutes before the movie and it was sold out.

SOLD OUT!

SOLD OUT? In VERMONT? FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! I was really pissy. What a waste of a drive. Stupid movie. (Though I will probably see it by my self this week.)

Sunday was the g-store and bowling. I was late by an hour to the g-store because I completely forgot about the time change. They didn't seem to mind though, which was good. It was also pretty damn hectic and we lost at bowling, though Lauren made a swell Dave substitute. I think she will lower his average enough between this weekened and next so that when he comes back (he's out of town for two weeks) we will blow the socks off the competition! ha! We ARE in 3rd place, which is much better than last year.

This week is going to be a long one. Work is super busy and I have my review tomorrow. Two years here and this is my first review. I am looking forward to it, but who knows what kinds of jewels will be uncovered within it.

I don't seem a little negative today, do I?

Burlington, the city with the mostest

2007-03-12T07:27:00.000-04:00

Burlington has done it, folks! We are the Eco-Friendliest city! How about that?

It's FRIDAY!! Yippee!!!

2007-03-09T13:34:00.000-05:00

Today is Friday. It is payday. It is party day. I am thrilled. I don't have to work at the g-store tonight, which I am so happy about. Last night it was so quiet. Though I was staffed with fairly-new newbies, it worked out nicely. We got all of the chores done ontime or early. We didn't have a rush at the end. In fact, during the last 10 minutes of the store time, I don't think we had anybody. I was going to start up basket-bowling, it was that quiet. But the time got away from me and before you know it, it was time to go.

Did I mention how happy I am it is Friday? I am going to Stephanie's house this evening for a night with Mario. Mario is hot. He is a little short for me, but wow can he dance!

Here's a picture of Mario. Don't you wish he was yours?

Sticks and stones and high schoolers

2007-03-07T10:46:00.000-05:00

Last night I was at the g-store. Apparently, I am a bitch. Aladdin gave me daggers-will-kill-you glances whereas Jasmine was her bubbly self. Already word has circulated about "the incident" with Aladdin and Jasmine. Aladdin told one chick that he hates Jane and Jean (who also witnessed the incident) and me. AND - we are all bitches and he will NEVER speak to us again! Hmpf!

Ah - to be back in high school. I think I would punch his lights out.

Guy Love from Scrubs

2007-03-06T17:58:00.001-05:00

For your viewing pleasure. If you haven't seen this... WATCH IT NOW!

G-store drama - Sex and romance

2007-03-06T13:22:00.000-05:00

Two stories about life at the g-store. The identites have been changed to protect the people involved and me from any legal action. (ha ha ha?)

Story the First: Sex and teens
Ophelia is a troubled teen. She's going to turn 18 this year. She is out about being a lesbian. And she was abused at some point early in her life. Her mother kicked her out recently for being gay. So what does she do? Turns around and has sex with Oscar and make out sessions with other guys. Though both Ophelia and Oscar say they won't do it again, I think she's out of control. It's more than teens just having sex. And at least, according to Oscar, they practiced safe sex. I feel sorry for Ophelia that she feels she needs to act out in this way. Whether she is gay because she was born that way or because she was abused, she really needs help. Though I don't know the circumstances of her home life, I think if her mother kicked her out for being gay, that is really horrible. Makes me want to take her in or yell at her mother for being so stupid.

Story the Second: Romance and teens
Jasmine works with me. Aladdin works in another department. She's 16-17. He's a year or two older. They have been dating for months. Jasime has had what seem to be obsessive crushes on both Ophelia and Oscar but has seemed to settle down with Aladdin. They are always together. It's to the point that if Jasmine has a chance to wander off, she will most likely be in the back of the store having makeout sessions with Aladdin. They have both been talked to repeately about their activities. Still no change. That brings me to my break the other night. I walked into the breakroom and there were Aladdin and Jasmine cosying up. Not appropriate for work. Jane, one of the supervisors, went up to them and physically split them up. When she turned around, they were back together. She went over to them and told them to stop and parted the seas again. Aladdin got so angry with Jane that he walked out of the breakroom. Not before throwing over a chair in a very dramatic scene. Jane went after him and they argued. He even called her a "bitch". (Not very smart to do that, eh?) I went to HR because I felt Jasmine and Aladdin's bad behavior has gone on too long. Afterwards, Jasmine asked me what I thought about what happened. I said, "Here's the lecture. You KNOW you shouldn't do that. You have been talked to before. If you don't stop, you could have lots of trouble. blah, blah, blah." She seemed open to my lecturing, but I think mostly it came out like a Charlie Brown adult voice where you can't understand what they are saying. Sigh. Teens. I am so glad I don't have one.

Mom update

2007-03-06T13:15:00.000-05:00

Mom was in the hospital for three days. It was suppose to be 11 hours. But after the angeoplasty
on Friday, they thought she should stay overnight for observation. They allowed her to have all of her regular medications, which helped her sleep. Imagine that, sleeping whilst hospitalized! Between high blood pressure a blood transplant and dialysis, she was able to go home Sunday afternoon. She was chipper and sounding great when I talked to her last night which made me feel good.

And, the cardiologist told her with the proceedure they did, she's got at least 5-10 more years on her. Though I know she won't live forever, it's nice to hear that this proceedure will help her be in less pain and have a chance for being here for a few more years. As evil and manipulative as the pharmacutical companies can be, I am grateful for the medications that help my mom have a better quality of life.

Stitch 'n' bitch session

2007-03-02T17:27:00.000-05:00

Last night I joined a couple of my co-workers at our first Stitch 'n' Bitch session. There are two parts to the event. Part One - do some kind of crafty thing. I chose crochet. Part Two - freedom to rant and rave. We did more of the latter than the former, but it was good to be with people who shared similar views on issues.

While I was there, I saw my friend Anne and Tim B's friend Justin who had both attended my Oscar party (blog to follow soon). I thought they would have some things in common and it was cool to see them out. We were at my favorite coffee place, Muddy Waters. I found out that they are open until midnight! That is exciting! I will really have a place to write at night! I don't know why I didn't find this out before!!

We will have another Stitch 'n' Bitch session next week, though I have to work at the gstore. Who knows, maybe I will actually finish the project I am crocheting before St. Patrick's Day?

Mom update - out of surgery, in recovery room

2007-03-02T17:21:00.000-05:00

I called my dad this morning and Mom is out of her angeoplasty. He said they found a block in a lower artery but not big enough to perform surgery on. I guess that is good. He's having a hard time with it, which is understandable. Mom is in the recovery room for a few more hours and will be spending the night at the hospital for observation. She should be coming home tomorrow.

I had a rough week thinking about her upcoming surgery. I cried a couple of times at work. I know it was exploratory and happens all the time to people. But I think the thing that has been getting to me is the realization that her body is really beginning the signs of shutting down and death is more eminent. I can't do anything about it from Vermont. If I was in CA, I could be there for my dad.

My aunt is coming into town to stay with my folks starting tonight. I know she will be a comfort for my mom. Hopefully it won't be added stress.

Can't we all get along? SURE we can!

2007-02-28T13:58:00.000-05:00

Wow. For a heart-warming story, click on the picture above.

(photo courtesy of Associated Press)

Hard to focus, family things...

2007-02-27T13:54:00.000-05:00

Just before I went about my business getting ready for my Oscar party (blog posting coming soon), I got a call from my mom. She has been having pain in her chest and arm. Went to the cardioligist last week. Having SURGERY Friday. She said it is exploritory and they are looking for the block in her arteries. She said it was also related to her diabetes. It is frustrating that I can't be there as a support for my parents and brother. Mom said the surgery is a day thing and it is a common proceedure. Sigh. It will be a long week...

Lentish behavior

2007-02-27T10:28:00.000-05:00

I am not Catholic. I don't practice Lent. However last night I was talking with my friend Austin Girl about this and that. I decided I will give up soda until May 1. I love soda, but I have a problem drinking enough good liquids and I think soda makes me extra sluggish. I know I gain weight from it too. I also don't want to ever get kidney stones again and no soda will make for a healthier me. I am, however, allowing myself to have soda water.

Here's to me!

Random thought moment...

2007-02-23T10:31:00.000-05:00

I realize only one person who reads the following will get this. I was having a moment IMing a co-worker and had the following thought. It is to be read with a thick Irish accent.

"Piper down!"

Valentine's Day Blizzard - what did I do?

2007-02-21T16:53:00.000-05:00

We had a wee bit o' snow on Valentine's Day. Schools closed. Our office asked people to go home at noon. I left my car here and Stephanie, Carrie and I went to the movies. It was probably a really stupid and dangerous thing to do, but as Carrie has four-wheel drive, we decided to take a risk. We picked Stephanie and her roomie Megan up at their home and then treked to the theater.

Here's what my car looked like when I got to work on Thursday. My landlord kindly gave me a ride. More pictures to follow....

Read about the storm of "historical proportions" here!

Long stories = tune out

2007-02-21T11:09:00.000-05:00

I realize I talk alot. In that, my stories can be long winded and it may take me a bit to get to the point. It is something I am aware of and working on. It really drove the point home when talking to a friend who asked me a question and while giving them the answer, I could see their eyes glass over. By the time I was done, they asked me a question that had already been answered by me moments earlier. ADD? Perhaps. Long winded and not getting to the point? Probably.

Sigh.